Parenting Posts: The Balancing Act

One of the challenges of thoughtful parenting, so far, in my opinion, is that it is a challenge to juggle competing good values in a way that is healthy for our little Karis.

For instance, our experience at church. On one hand, we want our child to behave at church. On the other hand, we do not want to teach Karis that church is this drab and judgmental place where her parents are tense and always screaming "NO" at her. This is hard. At some point, she is going to have to learn to not run around the church during worship. On the other hand, when she climbs up the platform and walks toward the pulpit toward me I hear Jesus say indignantly, "Don't prevent the children from coming to me. For unless you recieve the kingdom of God like a little child...."

Another is balancing our desire for her to communicate assertively, with our desire with our child to not become a demanding, spoiled-rotten brat. Karis is very verbal. She is very passionate. And, she is often very clear about what she wants. And, if you do not give her what she wants, he assumption is that you must not have understood, so she communicates more forcefully. For instance, Karis wants a ball. She begins her request like a question, "Ball?". If she does not get what she wants right away she begins to say louder and louder, "Ball. BAll, BALL, BALLLLLL!" So our job is to get her to communicate her needs and desires forthrightly and clearly, but to also realize that she does not always get what she wants. Not always easy. Especially with a girl who knows her own mind as well as Karis does for a 16 month old.

It seems to me that a lot of parenting is a balancing act. You want your kids to learn responsibility, but not be up tight. You want your kids to be compassionate, but not a doormat. You want your kids to take pride in their appearance, without being vain. The list could go on and on.

What other balancing acts can you think of? Does this ring true to your experience? If so, how so?

I would love to hear from you....