I am preparing my first memorial service for a member of our church here at First Baptist Church of North Platte, NE. As I do so, I am reminded that different places do things radically different based on the region of the country, the size of the congregation, the size of the community, and the culture of the people that make up the church and the community.
Here are some of the differences:
Reading of the Obituary
Some people think this is necessary in a service, and some people do not. They like or dislike this tradition for the same reason. I think the history of it stems from a melding of the secular and sacred, with the reading of the obituary being an official secular announcement of death. Much like when ministers would say, "by the power vested in me by the state of _____________"
Procession with the Body
This sometimes was dependent on the nature of the facility. In certain churches, this has to be done immediately following the service. Then people can be greeted and visit. Other churches process the body to the back of the sanctuary, often in an overflow area. Others have released the crowds of folks, and brought the body to hearse well after the service. One church I served in, for example, processing with the body was difficult because stairs had to be navigated.
The Funeral Home
These folks all have a different way of operating from one another in relation to pastors and churches. Some places are low on capital funds, and so they insist in having the family of the deceased write personal checks to musicians, pastors, and church ladies for the church service. Others make that kind of thing a part of their package deal. Some funeral homes like having pastors present with the family as they meet with them. Several do not.
In some places, a church plans to prepare a meal for nearly everyone in town. Another congregation only allows folks who are family and who are serving with the funeral staff. Some prepare elaborate meals for everyone. Others buy Subway sandwiches and provide side dishes and deserts that are homemade. One church I served prepared "open-faced sandwiches" prepared by church ladies. Still others simply offer a cookie and beverage reception.
There are several other differences I can't think of. What variations have you noticed?