Monday, June 05, 2006

Express Pick-Up at Panera

I am at a meeting today with our planning committee for our trip to Gulfport, MS. And we are standing in line at Panera to get our meals. And as we get our meals, the woman behind me starts talking with some women and I hear them say, "So are any of those guys with ya single?" I think our friend Mary (female) knew these people from somewhere. And I was sure that they were going to be talking about my buddy Robert, which would have been an interesting conversation. (Mary and Robert are dating, but it is supposed to be kept quiet until after our trip is over.) So I start talking to Robert, and Robert says that

A few minutes after our meeting Mary comes up to me with a piece of paper. She says...this is just weird so I am coming out with it. And she procedes to tell me what I already heard about what the women were saying. And then she says that the woman specifically asked about me and asked her to give me her phone number and some vital information about her. So here I am in Panera an hour later with some digits in front of me about a 40 year old school teacher named Katty.

Strangely enough last night I had a very "unique" woman who tried to pick me up on MYSPACE/AOL AIM. Besides revealing her life history she was urging us to at least have a "committed friendship"..which kind of freaked me out a little. I thought she might turn out to be a potential stalker to be honest.

This is very intriguing to me. For several reasons.

First of all, I have been casually going out on dates with someone. Not a committed relationship. And there would be a lot of issues to work out before I ever got too serious with her, but it has been nice to have someone to hang out that there is a little bit of a "spark" with. It has been fun.

But it makes me wonder...why is it that the number of opportunities with women if you are a man is inversely proportional to your level of involvement to another woman? Why is it for us men that when we are not dating nobody wants to date us, but the more we get involved with a person the more desirable we are to other women. I dont get this.

The same thing happened about this time last summer. I was pursuing one woman fairly aggressively, and at the same time another opportunity for dating openned up with another woman. I dated both, and was fairly direct with the second person that I was interested in another person out of state. Neither of the situations worked out, which was probably a good thing in the long run.

These kinds of situations intrigue me. Is there a law in nature that you are either in a state of abundance or want? Because, as a side note the same thing happens to me with churches being interested in me. For a while they are not interested. And, there are always a few other job offers that come along after I accept a call to a new church. Why is that?

Is there some pheremone that men when they have people interested in them that other women are drawn to? Because....I talk to other single guys and most guys I talk to agree this happens a lot in their dating lives. Do women just think less available men are more of a challenge, or hot? It seems dating is like the Colorado Front Range landscape..you are either enduring drought or driving through flash floods.

Not that I am complaining or anything...but I think that it is interesting.

6 comments:

Erin said...

LOL! Most people act differently when they begin a relationship, even if it is just casual dating. They are a little more confident, more relaxed. They tend to pay more attention to what's going on around them (as they subconsiously compile future conversation material). They tend to pay closer attention to detail. They are happy. They like themselves better.

Have you got any idea how sexy that is?!

Jeje said...

that happens to women, too. I think wilsonian is right about the confidence issue. Confidence is extremely attractive.

When that happens to me, I think it is sometimes given to me to help me realize what I really want, due to having a basis for comparison.

rubyslipperlady said...

It's feast or famine for women as well. You go!

Anonymous said...

I hear you on this one. For me it was after I got married......It seemed as though the ring on my finger was a magnet. Of course for the longest time I was totally oblivious to the whole thing. My wife would say to me: "do you realize that girl was just flirting with you!? That hussy!!" Anyway I like the whole idea of being confident. Looking back I don't think I was as confident in myself before I met my wife. That makes sense and so I wonder if that makes sense in our dating/married lives then how different could it be in all other areas of our lives? Interesting...........

Friar Tuck said...

I think for women it is a little different personally--but similar.

Women are more guarded and standoffish when single...but more willing to be friendly to about anyone when they are feeling safe in a relationship.

Thus whenever I meet a woman that is openly talkative and friendly...she is usually married

Aphra said...

I do beleive there is such a law of inverse proportions - will have to look it up in my Physics textbook

Book Review of Little Prayers for Ordinary Days by Katy Bowser Hutson, Flo Paris Oaks, and Tish Harrison Warren and illustrated by Liita Forsyth

Little Prayers for Ordinary Days by Katie Bowser Hutson, Flo Paris Oakes, and Tish Harrison Warren IVP Kids ISBN 978-1-5140-0039-8 Reviewed ...