Today I got a call from a former youth group student. I was somewhat excited to hear from her. It is always nice to hear from former students. Their calls and notes make me feel like I have made an impact in their lives. And that I matter to them. It is fun to see how they have grown up and matured and become adults.
This call, after less than a minute, was less than inspiring. In fact, as I continued with the call I quickly started to feel violated. And to feel my trust was betrayed. Why? Because the reason my student called was.....to sell me CUTCO knives. She requested a meeting with me. I postponed a commitment. But what am I supposed to do? My roles are confused. As a pastor I don't feel comfortable saying that I don't want to see my student. I love her. But as a human being, I hate having to meet with someone who wants to sell me something I don't need. And, I hate feeling obligated because I used to be her youth pastor. If she wasn't a former student, I would have quickly turned her down. Because she is a former student, I feel conflicted in how to proceed. What do you think
7 comments:
Had the same thing happen to me except it was with Amway.
I was not a happy camper but I figured honesty was best policy so I interrupted the presentation and said "I love you, not your product. If you want to sit around and talk about life and what God is doing - I'm all yours. If you're going to try to sell me something - I don't want to waste your time or mine."
Life is too short, time is to precious to deal with that stuff...
Poor kid, just be honest and let her know before she gives the whole spiel... Good luck.
In these businesses it takes time to learn to put the relationship first. I have done this to people and regret it. It is always good to plug back into people you love and just let it take it's course if work comes up fine, if it doesn't fine - that way people know above all else they love and care about you and don't just want to sell you something - she was probably scared to call...or I usually am - my BIGGEST fear is that someone will just think I want to sell them something and don't really care about them. In fact, just reading your post has my heart racing and my stomach nauseous.
Well Friar..I find myself confused seeing I too am fRiar Tuck "too",I feel used a lot with all the hoods I find myself carring. But to be honest I think I am a bit more authenic since I no longer have a Bishop to watch me. q:) You know fRiar that we often times had to carry Robin on our backs across the streams in the forest.Think about all the hoods you and I carry every day. Maybe it is a heavy cross to bear..but you know you and I can make something good come out of what seams fooish,I guess You see I'am a Arminian Friar. It is up to you to chose u can make all things work for good.PS. Do not conplain if you chose to do something because you feel you have too. OK Signed fRiar Tuck Too. q;)
My family got Amwayed by one of my high school teachers. Felt terrible. But, now that I am MUCH older, and have former students too, I say meet that girl. Listen to her talk. Find out how she likes her job. How she is doing at it. How her life is going. Don't buy knives if you don't want to, but pray with her and encourage her.
I'm with Grant and Kim. Meet with her, but set a boundary.
If you don't meet with her, she may think it's because of her and not the knives. But if you meet with her and set a boundary, while she may be hurt, at least you've communicated that it's not her, but the knives.
And honestly, if she is going to be in sales, she is going to have to get used to rejection. It might help ease her into it if someone like you, who she trusts, says no to her sales pitch.
I would be a bad person to give you advice on this one because I have had several people lecturing me on the same thing lately. I accept to do things I don't want to do out of feeling obligated or because I think if I don't do it noone else will, and I feel guilty if I say "no." Sometimes I feel as though God is moving me to do some of those things because I feel that I should help people but what I need to ponder is whether or not I am helping or enabling. I hope you get an answer. Pray about it.
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