The Last Thing You Did

The last couple of days, both on sports and entertainment television and in the news, we have seen people struggling to come to terms with the death of two people prominent in entertainment, and one person who has all but killed her career with an impulsive decision to quit her governorship before her term was over.

There is an old proverb that says, "All is well that ends well". In many ways this is true. But what about when you don't end well? What happens when you end horribly? Should it color everything that has come before? Or should we dismiss the poor ending?

When I was little, I was always reminded by people at church that I did not want to be ashamed when Jesus came back. If I were to tempted to steal something, I was to remind myself about what it would be like if Jesus came back and raptured the church at that very moment. The same is true when I was tempted into sexual sin, or maybe even to do drugs. In all those moments I was to consider how I would feel if I was to be raptured in the middle of illicit sin. This concept is something I remember today, and even something I think about when I tempted occasionally.

Several hundred years ago there was a man who did a lot of good things. He was a leader for his nation. He stood against tyranny alone. He stood upon the Word of God when it hurt. He said he could "do no other".

However, despite his stand for grace and for the choice of the individual to accept or reject Jesus, Luther's story does not end well. Although Luther was charitable toward Jews in his early ministry, he was increasingly anti-semetic as he got older. Since he was a "modern apostle" for Germany, much of his anti-semetic writings were then used by Hitler and Nazi Germany to get the church to support the persecution of Jews. Luther did not end well. Do I dismiss all the good he did? No. Does the end of his ministry color how I see his other accomplishments. Unfortunately it does.

Last week Sarah Palin quit as governor of Alaska after a little less than three years of service. She gave a long rambling speech that did not make sense. Many of my more liberal blogger friends were not big fans of Sarah. My wife is not a fan. I always rooted for Ms. Palin. I thought she was the champion of the common person. I liked her style when she started on the campaign trail. I thought she was wise to confront David Letterman. Yet, when I think of her now, I will view her political career in light of her resignation. Barring a come back, I will see her as someone who liked the limelight but did not have a lot of substance. I will view her political career in light of its ending, and conclude that we were extremely wise not to choose her. I will think in the 2008 election we dodged one of the biggest bullets in our nation's history. I will see the election of Barack Obama as divine providence if I did not already. All of this is true in light of how Sarah Palin ended her political career.

Recently we saw Steve McNair die at the hands of his mistress. I admired Steve McNair as a football player and media figure. He was a class act as an athlete. I admired his outreach to his community. I loved his toughness on the football field, and how his teammates adored him. But is how I percieve him influenced by how he died? Yes it is. I may not look at him and say I am better than him. That would be judgmental. But I am also realistic. He was sleeping with a 19 year old girl. I know 19 year old girls. I have worked with them for years. Committing adultery with a 19 year old when you are a 40 year old man is CRAZY. It is, to a certain extent, a death wish. There is a reason that Proverbs says that the adulterous woman leads you to death. Because things like what happened to Steve McNair happen to you. And, unfortunately, when most of us think of Steve McNair we will think of how he died and how he lived his last weeks. We will think of that more than how he lived. Even if we try and convince ourselves to do otherwise, we will not be able to help it.

We have also observed Michael Jackson die of a drug overdose. Michael was a skilled musician. He was very wealthy. But as I watch his funeral, I believe there is a lot of revisionist history in the media memorials of him as well as the eulogizing his life. He had a couple of good songs 25 years ago. He also took strange boys into his bed (by his own admission), gave underage children alcohol, and had sexually inappropriate relationships with children (he was not convicted, but his accusers are more credible than he was). He hung his children off of balconies. He had more plastic surgery than anyone I have seen. He felt so bad about himself he completely marred his appearance. Was he generous? Yes. Did he sing some songs that touched peoples hearts? Yes. Did he die a drug addict who seemed obscessed with showering his affection on pre-pubecent boys? Yes. Yet, there are many political figures who would strive to make us feel guilty to think of him as anything less than a crusader for racial equality and justice (he was not this). And a trubador of sorts. Yet, try as we must, what we will remember him for is a person who thought himself so priviledged that the rules that applied to others did not apply to him. And it is this approach to life that killed him. And we should not forget it, even if we remember any other good things as well.

Like it or not, we are often remembered for the last thing we did. I just hope that by God's grace my last thing is more beautiful and true than theirs.