Parenting Posts: General Updates and Thoughts

Our little KK is growing like a weed, and she is so fun. She comes up with something new nearly every day. It is crazy to think last year at this time she was six months old and not even walking yet. Now she running everywhere, and encouraging us to join her.

One of the things she has taken to lately is patting a place on one of the couches and telling us to "sit". Only sit ends up being mispronounced with an additional h between the s and the i. We can't help but laughing.

Karis loves music. She has taken to creating a little band within our home. She hands out instruments, and then she says, "Two, three" and then insists that everyone begins playing. We do this over and over again. She also loves to sing "itsy-bitsy" spider, as well as "wheels on the bus". At church, she likes to get up on the piano bench and play the piano whenever the bench is empty. Yesterday, at our Christmas pictures, she found a little baby grand piano for children. She loved it, and it made for some good pictures.

She also enjoys coloring, and does it quite often. She talks to us and herself about what she is drawing, but we cannot make out what she was saying.

Her behavior gets a little obscessional at this age, which at times worries me that there may be something wrong. Her mother says a little OCD is normal for an 18 month old.

Church is a little challenging to deal with as far as Karis goes. She is so energetic, especially in church. There are people that delight in her little escapades at FBC Fowler on Sundays, and there are others that Jennifer believes communicate some disgust and frustration that she does not have the ability to be quiet and not say anything throughout worship yet. Last Sunday, Jen and Karis sat with "Nette" (her babysitter), and she did much better. Except when she started grunting loudly during a bowel movement in the middle of the sermon.

As far as I go, I think negotiating behavior of toddlers in worship is always difficult, but as a clergy person it becomes more complicated. Why? Because as a PK, a parent/child relationship in church always has more theological import. If a pastor is a workaholic, the kids tend to blame God for taking their Dad away too much. If the pastor's reputation is sullied by a child's behavior, the child of a pastor that sins feels the judgement of the church more acutely. And, when Karis runs toward me in the pulpit, all I can think of is "let the little children come unto me, for such is the kingdom of God". I want her to be behaved, but I think being too stern with her and too frustrated with her at church ends up making the church this place of anger and judgment instead of grace and love. I don't know how to explain this all, but I want to try and have appropriate expectations of her, but I don't want to squelch her spirit or place undue scrutiny on her behavior because she is a pastor's kid. Besides, it is a different experience for a child when they are asked to be non-responsive when there dad's voice is being amplified for an hour. Obviously, something I am still working through. However, moving to a church where we can have nursery care in worship on a consistent basis without feeling like we have to fight for it all the way will be nice.

Also, we are pondering whether Karis ready for potty training. She seems to announce when she has to go to the bathroom quite a bit, or when she just urinated. Jennifer has said she has pointed to the toilet and said "pee" a few times. I am eager for her to be potty trained on one hand, but nervous because it brings with it yet one more set of parenting skills that I feel woefully ill-equipped to exercise.

I am also becoming more and more curious about how Karis will handle a new child coming. She seems to enjoy babies, but an inquisitive toddler around a newborn worries me a little bit.

We are also worried about the unborn child a little bit. The doctor said she had a two-percent chance of having some sort of birth defect after a recent set of tests. That means that there is a 98 percent chance that our new child will be a happy, healthy little one, however we both spend a lot of time stressing about the 2 percent. We figure that will Jen's advanced maternal age, and some of her health concerns, that this all just gets put into the complicated logorhythm that determines risk level. We hope the month or two goes fast before we can get further tests and know what we are possibly dealing with. So, keep us in prayer with that one.