Monday, December 02, 2013

The Power of Looking Forward

Last August, we were shocked by the news that came our way: Jennifer had breast cancer. The last four months have been spent running back and forth to doctor's appointments, helping Jennifer recover from surgery, and then helping her deal with chemotherapy. Previous to that, we had two surgeries to deal with. Although the surgeries have provided blessings, they also added stress and chaos to our lives.

One of the things that happens when one faces a crisis in one's life and one's family is that you place your whole effort toward dealing with and conquering the issue that is at hand. When one lives in a crisis, one deals with the moment as it comes, and attempts to either ride the wave of that crisis, or simply to survive it. Thinking about the future seems less important than facing down the moment right in front of you. 

The last week has been no different. Jennifer has struggled with this treatment, and has succumbed to a cold or some sort of viral illness, leaving her congested, wheezing at times, struggling to sleep and to get a deep breathe. Due to an error at the chamber of commerce, I am left to complete a mailing for the ministerial association that I thought we had contracted someone else out to get done. I have to confront a ministry that has lost a little bit of its focus, at least in who it has put in its leadership. The dog had an infected leg, which put us back about 200-300 dollars. 

I see this all of the time in dealing with people in need. They end up overwhelmed, always dealing with the issue that is in front of them, trying to hustle to get out of one crisis, only to find themselves in the next. I don't want my life to be like that. I don't want to live like that.

So I took an unconventional step. I started moving toward my goals in the future. I had to put continuing education on hold over the last year. This next year I am taking a big step, and putting in some applications for a D.Min. program. Can I afford it? Who the heck knows. But I won't find out unless I take the gamble of checking out some programs and applying to them. 

This also means I need to take some steps to push forward in my weight loss. Most of these programs are going to require I fly somewhere. And in order to do so affordably, I am going to have to lose some more weight. Can I lose as much as I want to lose in that time frame? I don't know, but I am not going to sit around and wait for life to happen to me, for another crisis to spin into my life, and then be stuck living my whole life reactively. Instead, I am going to be proactive toward some of my hopes and dreams. I am going to risk doing a half-assed job, I am going to risk failure and public humiliation, and I am going to look forward and walk forward.

Just some things I am thinking about today....

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