New Theory: We are all part squirrel

The other day I was walking through Walmart. As I walked a certain item caught my eye. What was it you ask? It was a bucket. This bucket was better than most buckets I see. Why? First, it was on sale for just over a dollar. Also, it came in colors like neon orange and neon yellow. The bright colors excited me, and I had to have these buckets. So I threw them in my basket, and told myself I would use them to organize my cleaning supplies.

Then I got to the front of the line. And I saw something else! Qtips! These were not ordinary Qtips. No way! They were Qtips with colored sticks. They had purple and green Qtips in my aisle. I wanted them, but I restrained myself. And, as I was standing in line I remembered a truth that I had discovered a while earlier and buried in the recesses of my brain. That truth is that we are all part squirrel. We all like squirrels are drawn to bright and shiny things, and when we see them we want to make them our own. Especially if we think we are getting a good deal.

Our nations history was founded on the squirrel principle. How did we get the island of Manhattan from the Native Americans? We gave them shiny trinkets (and to be fair they thought they were sharing not selling). What drove westward expansion in the United States. Shiny yellow rocks in places like Colorado and California. Where does most of our population live? By the shiny Great Lakes and seashores.

Men, how many of you go for shiny technological gadgets that you will never need? Women, how many of you have more shoes that you can keep track of? Rednecks, how many of you have more cars or parts for cars than you need in your front lawn? Book lovers, how many of you have looked at an old raggedy book on your bookshelf and thought you would want the same book with a nicer cover? How many of you women have more knick-knacks than you know what to do with? Have you ever bought a book, CD, DVD, or tool that you did not remember you had until you brought it home and went to put it away? Why is it that we do all of this? It is of course because we are all part squirrel.

You might even relate this principle to the attraction of the opposite sex. How many of you women are more attracted by a shiny, sporty car or nice big pick up truck? How many of you want the big shiny rock on your finger from your man? What about our attraction to nice shiny teeth artfully arranged by a dentist? Even in dating we can be part squirrel.

What shiny and/or useless things are you drawn to? What store are you a sucker for a bargain in? Do you agree with the squirrel principle?