In the last couple of weeks, I have come to the conclusion that middle schoolers, and especially middle school girls moved in herds. When I share this with adult leaders I have worked with they were amused. When middle school girls hear this they are offended--it makes them sound too violent and too much like animals. Which, is why the junior high boys I have been around say it is so appropriate.
The herd imagery works for several reasons.
1. Middle schoolers are migratory and nomadic--For years I have tried to meet and relate to middle schoolers in their own habitat as a part of my ministry. Although it is possible, there are more effective and inneffective ways of doing it. With adults you can sit down and visit and have a nice long conversation while both of you stay seated. Not so with middle school youth, and especially girls. They are always on the move. On of them wants some nachos from the concession stand at a ball game. They announce they are leaving to get nachos. Suddenly 20-30 of the middle schoolers move in a herd to graze at the concession stand. Often all trying to copy one another and get the exact same thing. It does not help to follow. It does help, when meeting the middle schooler in their habitat, to be available and visible.
2. A clear pecking order--Wheras in high school there is a more tribal mentality of smaller groups, at least in the middle school habitats I have explored there is a clear pecking order. As well documented in recent literature, the pecking order boys looks more like a ladder and the pecking order of girls looks more like concentric cirlces, there is a pecking order none the less. And middle schoolers, tend to pick on and attack the weaker in their herd, leaving them the most vulnerable for attack from within and without the group.
3. Destruction and droppings--Look at a room or a place after middle schoolers have moved through it. Like the buffalo herds moving across the western plains, the middle schooler leaves a mess behind them and dropping everywhere to let you know they have been around. Have you ever been on a middle school trip where after everything is packed up you dont find a trail littered with droppings of wet towels, garbage, sunglassses, and clothes that have been forgotten or messily neglected? It is rare. Ever taken a group of middle schoolers around where things were not broken or spilled inconvieniently along the way? Again it is a rare thing to see.
4. Grazing--Wheras many of us do most of our eating at or around meals with a few snacks, if you watch middle schoolers they are constantly grazing on any edible thing in their path. Although there are exceptions with eating disorders, even the girls are heavy grazers at times. This often means that they will eat half a meal you paid $10 for and talk about how good it was and how full they are, and 15 minutes later will buy grazing food at the local 7-11.
Does anyone else want to add in properties of "herd" properties with middle schoolers?
HE WHO LOVES NOT WOMEN, WINE, AND SONG.... REMAINS A FOOL HIS WHOLE LIFE LONG---- MARTIN LUTHER
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2 comments:
actually women generally gather together. Take a look ... we can be alone but we are not made to be :) and that' s not only in the wife-husband relationship.
women thrive on companionship and words and acts of affirmation, and receiving God's touch through that of another. Women need each other - not only at jr high ages but throughout life ...
I read a survey not to long ago - when men are asked about best friends they often name their spouse and that's it ... the list for women is usually much longer and involves other women. It's not sexual or physical it is emotional.
it's not being herd like ... at least not as I see it ... some of the lonliest people are often in a crowd.
In middle school both guys and gals move in the herd.
And it is more than just moving together....it is a mentality.
The female leader in our group saw this as well and agreed.
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