Parenting Posts #2

Some further reflections on parenting in the second month of Karis' life

• I have the opportunity of spending most mornings at home with Karis working on stuff that I can do at home. I start at 7 and drop her off at 12:30. It allows me to get the same amount done as I get done from 9-Noon generally on any other day before she was born.


• Slowly I am being able to discern between her cries. The feed me cry is most recongnizable. Followed by the "you dont quite have it, you need to move me a little bit" cry.


• She is becoming more social. A month ago when she started to make noise, we started to make a plan to soothe her. Now, she likes to thrust her arm toward you and get verbal like she is talking with you. Of course, she does not have any words yet. A month ago kicking and flailing was always a cause for concern. This month, at times, it is simply exercise.


• I am becoming more attached to her as time goes by. I am ok with dropping her off at day care for 4 hours of so. When I have had to drop her off for a full-day I have to leave quickly because I get close to tears.


• Another time I was close to tears: I went to daycare to bring by someone who wanted to meet the baby. She tried to hold and capture the baby's attention. But, Karis heard my voice. She started looking over in my direction and reaching out her hand. She loves her daddy and misses him! This makes me happy.


• I have learned that my child's anxiety is directly related to mine, especially when I hold her. If I get upset because she is a little fussy, she gets more upset. If I take a deep breathe and model poise and peace to her, it helps her to do the same. Having said that, I have not perfected this at all.


• When I preach, my daughter hears my voice amplified, but cannot find out where I am. She looks around, she gets confused, then she cries out. This is hard to deal with, but it also makes me feel good.


• Unlike every other kid I have seen, unless Karis ends up moving with her cart or the or in the car she HATES her car seat. She is ok when she is in and out of it when we take a break from travelling. But it really does not work to put her in the car seat otherwise.


• I find that part of what frustrates or encourages me as a parent is when I feel competent or incompetent as a parent. If I am able to soothe Karis or make her smile, or get a difficult burp out of her, I feel good as a father and a parent. If I fail in care of her somehow I feel like I shoulld have never been a father. In this case, parenting can be an emotional rollercoaster.

Thats about it...