Nacho: I was wondering if you would like to join me in my quarters this night... for some toast.
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Nacho: Chancho, when you are a man, sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room... It's for fun.
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Nacho: Don't you want a taste of the glory? Don't you want to know what it tastes like? Just one time!
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Esqueleto: I don't believe in God, I believe in science.
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Nacho: They think I do not know a buttload of crap about the Gospel, but I do!
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Nacho: And... they don't think I know a buttload of crap about the gospel, but I DO, ok?
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Sister Encarnación: Well, my favorite color is light tan. My favourite animal is puppies. I like serving the lord. Hiking, play volleyball...
Nacho: You gotta be kidding me. Everything you just said, is MY favourite thing to do, every day!
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Sister Encarnación: Wrestling is ungodly Ignacio. People cheer for him... and he is a false idol.
Nacho: Whatever.
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Señor Ramon: What is this?
Nacho: Leftovers. Enjoy.
Señor Ramon: There is no flavor. There are no spices. Where are the chips?
Nacho: Somebody stole them.
Señor Ramon: Did you not tell them that they were the Lord's chips?
Nacho: I was trying to!
Señor Ramon: You are useless Ignacio!
Elderly Monk: Silence brothers! This is the worst lunch I ever had.
Señor Ramon: Your only job is to cook. Do you not realize I have had diarrhea since Easters?
Nacho: Ok... Maybe I am not meant for these duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it's time for me to get a better duty!
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Nacho: I'm a little concerned right now. About... your salvation and stuff. How come you have not been baptized?
Esqueleto: Because I never got around to it ok? I dunno why you always have to be judging me because I only believe in science.
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Nacho: Ok. Orphans! Listen to Ignacio. I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice piledrive to the face, or a punch to the face, but you cannot do it. Because, it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbour.
Chancho: So you've never wrestled?
Nacho: Me? No. Come on. Don't be crazy. I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the free creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good. I get to wake up every morning, at 5AM, and make some soup! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That's fantastic! Go. Go away! Read some books!
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Esqueleto: Summon your eagle powers.
Nacho: What do you think I'm doing?
Nacho: [Losing badly, about to take a big hit] Eagle powers... come to me! Please!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Esqueleto: Summon your eagle powers.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sister EncarnaciÛn: I brought you something.
[holding corn in both hands]
Nacho: Get that corn out of my face!
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Nacho: Get that corn outta my face!
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Nacho: I'm not listening to you. you're crazy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Esqueleto: For reals?
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Nacho: Those eggs were a lie, Esteban. A LIE! They give you no eagle powers. The give you no nutrients!
Esqueleto: Sorry.
Nacho: I dont want to get paid to lose. I wanna win!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nacho: I am a-singing at the party
Nacho: I am singing it's my turn to sing at this party
Nacho: Everyone is dancing, happy party
Nacho: But Ramses is not dancing he does not dance at the parties
Nacho: Ramses' number one he knows the secret of desire
Nacho: Ramses is the one, he puts the people all on fire
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nacho: It sucks to be me right now!
Esqueleto: How come?
Nacho: How come you think? I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him! But it turns out, he's a real douche.
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Nacho: I'm not listening to you! You only believe in Science. That's probably why we never win!
Esqueleto: We never win because you are fat!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chancho: Nacho! Where are you going?
Nacho: There is no place for me in this world. I don't belong out there, and I don't belong in here. So I'm going out into the Wilderness. Probably, to die.
Chancho: Well, you might need this
[Gives Nacho the sword]
Chancho: My mother gave it to me before she died. It was her lucky machete. You can have it.
Nacho: I hope to see you again little Chancho. Maybe in the next life.
[Departs]
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Nacho: Precious Father, why have you given me this desire to wrestle and then made me such a stinky warrior?
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Esqueleto: I believe in science!
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Nacho: Beneath the clothes, we find a man, and beneath the man, we find... a nucleus
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Nacho: Thank you I mean yes, they might have the appearance of riches, but beneath the clothes, you find a man, and beneath the man you find, his... nucleus.
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Chancho: Here, take this, my mother gave it to me. It was her lucky machete.
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Nacho: Those eggs were a lie, Steven!
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Nacho: It *sucks* to be me right now.
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Nacho: I know it is fun to wrestle... a nice pile drive to the face... or a punch to the face...
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Nacho: ...but my life is good. Really good! I get to wake up every morning at 5am and make some soup. Its the best! I love it! I get to lay in a bed by myself all of my life. Its fantastic!
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Nacho: See that guy over there? We need to show him that we mean business. That we are ready for the 'big leagues'.
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Nacho: Do you remember when everyone was shouting my name, and I used my strength to rip my blouse.
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Nacho: These are my recreation clothes.
Sister Encarnación: They look expensive.
Nacho: Thank you.
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Juan Pablo: How come we can never eat a normal salad?
Nacho: Be grateful Juan Pablo today's meal is especially delicious
[eats the beans and quickly spits it out]
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Nacho: [singing] I ate some bugs, I ate some grass, I used my hand, to wipe my tears.
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Nacho: Don't touch my blouse.
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Esqueleto: I hate all the orphans in the world.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Nacho: Have you ever have you ever had feelings for a nun?
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9 comments:
An interesting post, did you write this?
I take it you liked the flick?
These were hilarious. I rarely get out to the movies due to my 4 year old and no reliable babysitters, so I did not know about this one. I note that it ends in my city today.
How many times have you seen this?
I heard it was an incredibly funny movie! I'll get it when it comes out on DVD. It looked good.
This is basically every line in the movie! Are you secretly a wrestler in the Mexican Wrestling Federation too? Is this autobiographical?
I thought so too, San Nakji. Did you just recite the entire movie to us Clint?! ha
I take it you enjoyed it! I want to see it. Jack Black is hilarious.
hehehe, thanks for the laughs!
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