Pastoring Without Fear (A Book Review)

One of the books that I recently finished was Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times. It is a book written by Peter Steinke, who also wrote Healthy Congregations, a seminal book on organic church development.

Congregational Leadership in Anxious Times was written to encourage pastors to be steady and courageous in the face of stress in ministry, and it does an excellent job in encouraging and explaining this process.

In the first section, I was struck by the world pictures for anxiety. In Greek, the root work for anxiety is tied with an image for slavery. Particularly, the image is of rings around the necks of slaves that choke them and keep them under control. Anxiety is very close to the Latin work for choke or strangle. The point is clear. Fear suffocates. Fear also enslaves. When a leader of a church bases their ministry upon worry and fear, they end up enslaving themselves and suffocating the church with their worries.

How do we overcome anxiety in churches? One answer Steinke gives is to be a non-anxious presence.

He begins by discussing how a pastor can become a non-anxious presence. One answer Steinke gives is to differentiate from the problem and the congregation as a leader. It is easy to assume that any difficult issue a pastor faces is a problem having to do with the pastor’s leadership. A centered leader needs to see themselves as part of a system, not as the system or the center of a system.

When someone can differentiate from the ministry they are a part of, they are able to reengage without being reactive. When a pastor gets reactive, they tend to make decisions based upon their “reptilian brain”. This fight or flight reaction leads to more anxiety instead of helping a congregation grow and heal. When a pastor differentiates, they are able to look at themselves and their churches in a balance of relatedness and autonomy from one another.

Perhaps to understand this, it is helpful to look at family relationships. In a family, it becomes easy for people in that family system to get trapped in reactive chaos. For instance, a parent (similar to a pastor in this case) sees their children (similar to a congregations in this case) as a reflection of themselves. The child is in chaos. The parents then get anxious and reactive, making panicked decisions about their family and child that the regret later. The parents at the same time are frustrated with their children, blame themselves for their children’s problem, and are defensive about being blamed by others for their child’s problems. They may even blame other caregivers. This leads to more anxiety, because the parent and child have a hard time taking time differentiating themselves from the situation for long enough to be able to look at the situation outside of the stress that they feel. The family finds themselves in greater and greater chaos.

Churches are the same way. Pastors, in order to lead through anxiety in their congregation, need to step away enough from the situation to differentiate themselves from the congregation that they serve. They need to be clear on who they are, and what their role is in addressing the anxiety in their congregation and what is outside of their control. They need to stay connected to the congregation instead of running away from the problem or freezing in the face of it. Finally, pastors need to find ways to use this time of anxiety and stress to be proactive in challenging their congregations to grow through the issue instead of avoid and hide from it.

Much of the rest of the book is how to best manage yourself as a pastor and a congregation in this manner, and a discussion of the value of being this non-anxious presence in church systems. Whatever the stressor, churches are going to face anxiety producing problems. A leader that is enmeshed or avoiding (or in some cases alternately both) will not be able to lead a congregation through anxious situations. They will often make things worse. A leader who is able to address a congregational challenge with courage and calm will be able to help the congregation learn how to grow up and deal effectively with the current issue as well as the issues ahead. A strongly recommended read for pastors and non-ordained leadership in churches.