Sleepwalking

I have been thinking a lot about the passage "Could you not stay awake with me one hour...for indeed the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak" (Matthew 26:40-41).

Part of the reason for my thinking about this passage is my own struggle with sleep apnia in the last year. I have fallen asleep in church in the last year than I have the rest of my life combined. It was like 5 years of 1 day off a month and 60-70 hour weeks all came crashing in on me at once. Although, to be honest, I really don't think I missed much in all of my falling asleep in church. It is Norman Vincent Peale who complained that people were so serious that he hadn't seen someone fall asleep in church in years and that "is a darn shame". But I digress...

As I think on this passage there is another issue that comes to mind is that it is one of the few times in Scripture where Jesus really asks for something that he needs, and when he asks he does not get what he needs.

It makes me wonder when Jesus has needed me, and I have totally missed it. One of the great dangers of the church is that we get so busy about religious activity that we blink and miss the spiritual opportunities that are around us. Opportunities to love God and to love our neighbor, which is what a community of faith is all about moving us toward. How many times have I been so intent on being right that I have forgotten to be loving? How many times have I been rushing around doing a whole bunch of "good things", only to realize later that someone was communicate something from their heart and I missed it? When have I needed to speak up boldly, and blinded by fear I walk away to a security blanket of people-pleasing? How often have I been so focused on the snowstorm that I miss the beauty of a snowflake?

Its possible that you or I could sleepwalk through years of our lives. So consumed with our own selves, and blind to the world around us, we stumble and trip through life until something shakes us awake. Startled, we wake up and wonder, how did I get here? What did I miss along the way? We realize that those people who we thought were close aren't anymore, because we have wandered down the street for blocks in our underwear far away from God, and those people and things we love.

Let it not be so. Let us open our eyes to the people to love, and the opportunities to make a difference in the people and the world around us. Just as much, let us open our eyes to the beauty and the blessings that surround us.