Much of my energy the last few years has been directed toward family concerns. Dealing with my wife's illness. Adjusting and readjusting to life with children. Adapting to perhaps the most demanding church I have ever served. Pondering how to get our church to grow, how to find friendships and live life here in Hot Springs. Trying to lose weight and develop healthy habits after bariatric surgery. That has left me with lots to ponder, but not much time to sit and write.
Well, that is not completely correct. What has happened is that I have not been able to structure and discipline myself well-enough to do some of the things that I want to do, and might even need to do. This is partly due to crazy circumstances, and partly due to not setting priorities. I need to set better priorities. I am not sure I have the strength to do that, because it will upset people who want me to do other things urgently. But if I don't set better priorities, I won't be able to do the important things well.
This idea of giving my life a backbone of structure is hard for me. I am not a "S" or a "J" on a Myers-Briggs Test or Kiersey Inventory. It works against my instincts. Yet, more and more I can see it is what I need. I need to use my day planner, of which I have several. I need to be more structured with my sleep time, instead of staying up late at night just attempting to de-stress from everything. I need to plan my exercise, my study and prayer, my writing, and even my work more rigidly. I don't know if I can do this and still be flexible, loving, and such. I tend to be less people-centered when I am task oriented. And I need to be more relationship-oriented than task-oriented in facets of my life.
I suppose writing about this is the first step toward doing this...more to come.....
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