Book Review of Feasting on the Gospels: Matthew Vol. 2 (Chapters 14-28)--A Feasting on the Word Commentary

Feasting on the Gospels: Matthew Vol. 2 (Chapters 14-28)
ed. by Cynthia Jarvis & E. Elizabeth Johnson
IBSN 978-0-664-23394-5
WJK Press
Reviewed by Clint Walker

It is year A on the liturgical calendar. We are now in Eastertide. Easter Sunday is gone, and Pentecost in rapidly approaching. And after Trinity Sunday the lectionary will lead liturgical teachers and worship leaders through much of the latter part of the gospel of Matthew. There is no better time, then, to both post a review for and recommend that you go out and get Feasting on the Gospels: Matthew Vol. 2 (Chapters 14-28) --A Feasting on the Word Commentary. NOW!

The folks on Feasting on the Word originally drafted a lectionary commentary that overviewed the lectionary texts for each text in the three year cycle. With this follow up set of commentaries they have taken on the task of doing a thorough commentary through the Gospels as a whole, allowing the preacher and teacher of the gospel texts a commentary that is both friendly to lectionary concerns, but one that also puts the gospel texts in canonical and literary context.

Each pericope of Scripture is interpreted through four lenses--theological, pastoral, exegetical, and homiletical. This means that the reader is prepared to use the text in preaching and teaching from the text or in the context of the broader picture of Scripture and what God is doing in this world. The variety of methods of interpretation and interpreters is really quite impressive. You may not always agree with how a particular passage is being handled by a specific person, but you will be challenged to interact with the passage in a number of different ways and encouraged to think more deeply.

Book Review of The Twelve Disciples by Douglas Connelly (A Lifeguide Bible Study)

The Twelve Disciples: 10 Studies for Individuals or Groups
by Douglas Connelly
ISBN 978-0-8308-3147-0
IVP Connect
Reviewed by Clint Walker

I have a shelf full of small group bible studies. Some of them I have used with small groups. Many of them I have used to guide my bible study time. Still others have provided guidance and seeds for thought in developing a sermon series. Of all of the different studies, the largest collection of Bible studies comes from IVP, and of those studies that IVP puts out, the Lifeguide series takes up the most room. I like them because they are simple and straightforward for both personal and group study. I often supplement what is in the book with personal research, but the Lifeguide studies do a good job at guiding people through the topic at hand to be studied.

The Twelve Disciples discusses, if you have not guessed, Jesus' inner circle of followers that are often referred to as the apostles or the disciples. The author does 9 individual studies, and then groups three of the more obscure disciples in one lesson at the end of the series. What I like about the way the study unfolds is that it really focuses in on one Scripture or one event that is central to understanding that particular disciple, their unique gifts and abilities, as well as the struggles that they may have had to deal with. By the time you are done with the study, you will feel like you really know at least 9 of the disciples in a deeper way. In the process, you will also learn baby steps that you might need to take to be stronger in your discipleship journey by learning from the first apostles.

A worthwhile personal or group study resource.

Book Review of Partnering with the King by John Hiigel

Partnering with the King: Study the Gospel of Matthew and Become a Disciple of Jesus
by John Hiigel
ISBN 978-1-55725-997-4
Paraclete Press
Reviewed by Clint Walker

I received this book a little while back, and I have been working my way through it ever since. I made special use of it during the Advent season and now through Holy Week. This has been especially valuable since this is "Year A" in the liturgical year, and thus the Christian year features the gospel of Matthew.

The thesis of this Partnering with the King, and it is not an original one, is that the gospel of Matthew is a guide to helping followers of Jesus understand the journey of discipleship is a disciplined, organized, and somewhat systematic way. Hiigel makes his point by sharing Scripture, and then writing a kind of devotional commentary about the text. The entries are easy to understand, and yet at the same time insightful both in understanding the text and what it means for us today.

Partnering with the King has a dual use. It could be used as a personal devotional or a study aide in working through the gospel of Matthew. In this case, the study guide in the back could be used to guide journal work and personal reflections. Since it only has 31 days it could be used through one month on a daily basis.

The text could also be used as a guide for study for a group. With 31 entries, it would be perfect to guide a group's study through a school-year schedule. The study guide would then become a discussion guide and lead people on a discipleship journey through the gospel of Matthew as a community.

Either way, with endorsements from luminaries such as Richard Foster, as well as friends that are former students, I will be visiting and revisiting this book often.

Book Review of Aha! by Kyle Idleman

Aha!: The God Moment that Changes Everything
by Kyle Idleman
ISBN 978-0-7814-1049-6
David C. Cook Publishing
Reviewed by Clint Walker

This is, at best, a book about yielding oneself to God. Which is an essential part, and a true beginning to authentic Christian spirituality. I have read several books about seeking or having a divine appointment with God, and how it can change one's life. This book takes things a step further. It describes how people are transformed through an encounter with the living God.

Idleman says that these encounters  begin with an awakening to our need to be changed by God, followed by a brutally honest inventory of one's life. This honestly often leads one to the conclusion that without God's continuing intervention we will be stuck where we are at, and then finally taking action to make that transformation a reality by partnering with God to allow him to transform our very souls.

This is how many of us come to faith. But the truth is, in the life of believers that are sensitive to the life transforming power of Jesus Christ, this is a continuing cycle of discovery, rediscovery, and growth.

Although, there are times when Idleman comes across a little too simplistic and formulaic, I do like a lot of what he is saying, and would recommend this book to friends.

Book Review of the Briarpatch Gospel

The Briarpatch Gospel: Fearlessly Following Jesus into the Thorny Places
by Shayne Wheeler
ISBN 978-1-4143-7230-3
Tyndale Momentum
Reviewed by Clint Walker

Too often we treat God's grace like an entitlement instead of a gift. Often, when we have this attitude, we think we are entitled to have an easy, stress-free, and pain-free life. The problem with this line of thinking is that is both unrealistic, and it does not form us into the grace-grounded and Christ-dependent people that God is calling us to be.

Shayne Wheeler invites us to trust God in the difficult moments and periods of our life, and to trust him as we enter into the thicket of pain, heartache, and struggle. Furthermore, he encourages believers to take their own faith into those not-so-ideal places and friendships within which they work and live and play.

I enjoyed this book because it is about living our faith authentically in the places in our own lives and in our world where there might be the most darkness. It is in those places where Christ's light shines most clearly, and Christian faith becomes most practical and real.

Book Review on the Pleasures of God

The Pleasures of God: Meditations on God's Delight in Being God
by John Piper
ISBN 978-1-57673-665-4
Multnomah
Reviewed by Clint Walker

John Piper has written extensively on many topics. Most notable, however, is his book Desiring God, which lays out the case for what he calls "Christian Hedonism". The book was a brilliant text, if for no other reason, than because it lays out a case for a joyful, loving Calvinist worldview. Basically, Piper makes the argument that the holy life and the God-obedient life is also the most pleasurable way to live. I read it in college and LOVED it.

Later, Piper released The Pleasures of God. In this book he makes the argument that God has a great delight in being himself and enjoys and takes pleasure in the world he has created. Well-written and well-researched, the text makes the case for God being the most joyful being in the universe. Furthermore, The Pleasures of God argues that God lives and creates FOR his own delight.

The book is organized. Each chapter takes this same thesis from a different angle. The end of the book has an extensive study guide as well as a thorough Scriptural index. Agree with Piper or disagree with him, this book will make you think.

I still have to do more thinking about the book. I agree that God is ultimately joyful, but also believe that part of God's joy is not being self-centered or self-seeking. And, although the text occasionally makes effort to make these clarifications, in order to make it's point well, the point is often overstated. Having said that, I am not sure I would be smart enough to win an argument with Piper regarding what I am saying, nor would I want to try.

Book Review of Making Spiritual Progress by Allen Ratta

Making Spiritual Progress: Building Your Life with Faith, Hope and Love
by Allen Ratta
ISBN  978-0-8308-4405-0
IVP Books
Reviewed by Clint Walker

Making Spiritual Progress is an interesting book, and not quite what I expected. A lot of what I read about spiritual growth has what I would call more of an "organic" twist to it. In other words, it talks about how to grow people in their faith honestly and naturally and led by the mysterious hand of the Holy Spirit. This book is much more of a system and method of spiritual growth. I am still trying to wrap my mind around it, and decide if I buy this neat little system for spiritual growth, and for understanding human motivation.

Ratta believes that what motivates a person's heart and life is what rules their life. That makes sense. He says, basically, that the key to helping people grow is teaching them to be motivated by the right things, and then right living with flow out of the character motivated by the Spirit. He describes the key motivators of the Christ-centered life as faith, hope, and love. And Ratta believes that world revolves around the "isms" stunt Christlike formation by motivating us with the wrong things: namely hedonism, materialism, and egoism. In Scripture this is worked out through the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life (I John 2:16). As he says, "The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life are not your ordinary garden-variety evils....they are spiritual conditions of the heart. They each motivate a world of behaviors" (p. 51).

Making Spiritual Progress is nothing if not hands-on. The next part of the book describes a regimen of spiritual disciplines and exercises for spiritual growth that help to address the heart through training it to be motivated by better, more godly things. The final section of Making Spiritual  discusses how the vital virtues that Ratta advocates can be perverted and/or misunderstood.

The thing I struggle with in this book is whether the whole description of the spiritual life is to clean and neat for describing the way soul work really happens. In my life, growth is often messy and ugly, and not nearly as simple and straight-forward as Ratta describes.

What this does describe, in its own way, is what Dallas Willard describes as a VIM approach to growing souls. It gives people a vision, intent, and means to be transformed. And that is a very good thing.

Book Review of the Jesus Prayer by John Michael Talbot

The Jesus Prayer: A Cry for Mercy, A Path of Renewal
by John Michael Talbot
ISBN 978-0-8308-3577-5
IVP Formatio
Reviewed by Clint Walker

I first became aware of John Michael Talbot through his music. When I was growing up, his albums often graced the shelves of Christian bookstores alongside the works of Michael W. Smith and Amy Grant. Somewhere along the road of his evangelical singing career, he discovered some of the spiritual masters and ancient spiritual disciplines, and this discovery in turn led him to embrace the Catholic stream of Christian practice.

Now, Talbot ministers through music as well as with more traditional means. Based out of a hermitage in Arkansas, he travels around the world calling people to a deep, authentic, commitment to Jesus Christ as their Savior.

This book guides us into the tradition of praying the Jesus Prayer. The Jesus Prayer is from Scripture, and the most developed tradition of practicing the contemplative method of praying "Lord Jesus, have mercy on me, a sinner" as a way of deepening one's spiritual life comes from the Orthodox Tradition. I, like John Michael Talbot, have been intrigued by the book "The Way of the Pilgrim" from the Orthodox tradition.

Praying the Jesus Prayer is not easy. But it is a powerful way to learning the nature of unceasing prayer. Talbot takes the reader through the prayer word by word, deepening our understanding of what we are praying by meditating on every word in the prayer. This will help the reader be more grounded in what they are praying.

The book is short, testimonial, and powerful. I will keep in my library of spiritual formation resources for quite some time.

Book Review of the Breast Cancer Support Partner Handbook by Judy C. Kneece

Breast Cancer Support Partner Handbook: Tips for Becoming An Effective Support Partner
by Judy C. Kneece
ISBN 978-1-886665-3
Published by EDUCARE INC.
Reviewed by Clint Walker

Now on its eighth printing, this book has become the standard in resources for those who offer care to those suffering with breast cancer. First published 18 years ago, it has guided many in the journey of supporting their friends and loved ones through the breast cancer journey. The Breast Cancer Support Partner Handbook is full of helpful, insightful, and well-researched information.

As I have read through parts of this book, and skimmed others, I am impressed with its layout, it attention to details, its graphics and tables to communicate content, and its wisdom. Not only are readers given health information for dealing with the diagnosis and addressing treatments, issues regarding coping, mental health, and sexuality are discussed.

The one thing, however, that is off-putting about this book is that it looks like it is designed for women. And, while I do believe there are a number of breast cancer patients that do have female support partners, I would be willing to bet there are a large number of husbands and children of people with breast cancer are male. And, most men are not going to want to carry around some book with a bunch of flowers that has a cover that looks like an advertisement for Summer's Eve.

Having said that, this would be a great book for support partners, friends, and even breast cancer survivors. If for no other reason than to look up odd and difficult relationship and behavioral issues with those with breast cancer and ask, "Is this normal?," and find out that it is.

10 month gastric sleeve update

Book Review of Bringing Sex Into Focus by Caroline J. Simon

Bringing Sex Into Focus: The Quest for Sexual Integrity
by Caroline J. Simon
ISBN 978-0-8308-3637-6
IVP Academic
Reviewed by Clint Walker

This short and readable little book attempts to deal with the intersection of Christian ethics and human sexuality in a wise, succinct, and highly intelligent way. For the most part, Caroline Simon succeeds in her effort that she put forward in Bringing Sex Into Focus, challenging readers to think and process issues in human sexuality in a thoughtful and winsome manner.

Simon begins her book by proposing six "lenses" that people view sexual behavior through. Two of these views are explicitly Christian: understanding sexuality as expressive of covenant and as a procreative act. Other ways of viewing sexuality are often held by Christians, but are less explicitly Christian, and at times work against a world view that lifts up the Word of God for the authority of what is ethical. Such "lenses" include: a romantic lens, the plain-sex view, the power view (which is many ways is an argument against the plain sex view), and and expressive lens (my sexuality is a way of expressing my individualism and identity).

The rest of the book addresses how people live out their sexuality, both in relation to Christian ethics, and in relation to these other lenses as well, and how those behaviors demonstrate healthy and/or unhealthy and holy and/or  unholy ways of living out one's sexuality.

Simon begins with tackling what most Bible-believing Christians believe are the channels that healthy sexuality should flow through. Namely, virginity and chastity outside of marriage, and fidelity and the becoming of "one flesh" from within the boundaries of marriage. After this, she tackles some more controversial expressions of human sexuality such as flirtation and homosxuality. Then she tackles what she calls, "deficient" views of human sexuality.

Simon writes well, and gets her readers to think. She has clear convictions, and expresses her conclusions as times, but always with a class and grace that will be appreciated by the reader.

This is a book I will keep on my bookshelf and refer to from time to time for several years.

Book Review of Story of God Bible Commentary: Sermon on the Mount

The Story of God Bible Commentary
by Scot McKnight
ISBN 978-0-310-32713-4
Zondervan Press
Reviewed by Clint Walker

Scot McKnight is, perhaps, one of the fastest rising and prolific scholars to write on New Testament studies today. This latest series of commentaries, which he both edits and writes for, promises to be another excellent contribution from Dr. McKnight. Taking a narrative approach to the Scripture, McKnight works hard to bring the historical and religious context of Ancient Israel into our understanding of the Scripture in the 21st century. Before comments are made, the Scripture being discussed is translated and shared. Then, other pertinent passages throughout Scripture are shared so students can read this text in its canonical context. After this, in each section, comments are made about the passage's original meaning. Then, ideas are shared for pastors, teachers, and students so that they can find ways to understand the old, old story in their everyday life. I have been using this for months, and I love it! McKnight has deep insights, and yet communicates in an accessible manner. I am sure this will be on pastor's bookshelves for years to come.

Book Review of Take Charge of Your Emotions

Take Charge of Your Emotions: Seven Steps to Overcoming Depression, Anxiety, and Anger
By Dr. Linda J. Solie
ISBN 978-0-7542-1113-3
Bethany House
Reviewed by Clint Walker

Take Charge of Your Emotions is a technique to achieving mental health presented by a mental health practitioner named Linda Solie. Dr. Solie presents a biblically-infused 7-step program with dealing with some basic, common mental health issues.

This book, although oriented toward people who are struggling especially with anxiety, depression, and anger, it really is an even better guide for non-professionals looking for tools to help counsel people in these kinds of situations. This is a thick book full of tables and diagrams that give examples of people working through issues or problems, and how they can discover the tools they need to function effectively.

It is thorough and well-written. Solie focuses on cognition to begin with, and then hope to change attitude and behavior through healthy thinking and through resourcing oneself with spiritual help from Scripture and other Christian influences.

A nice text, but not quite what I expected.

Book Review of Pray the Scriptures by Kevin Johnson

Pray the Scriptures: A 40-Day Prayer Experience
by Kevin Johnson
ISBN 978-0-7642-1103-4
Bethany House
Reviewed by Clint Walker

Really, this is more of a prayer journal than a formal book. Each day in the 40 day journal provides on Scripture for meditation, a few thoughts, and ample room to write in one's personal response to the material provided. For this reason, I would purchase this is a bound copy, but would not purchase it via Kindle.

Each day has several intelligent, probing question on a topic that the Scripture provided presents. These helpful guiding thoughts help the reader meditate on Scripture in a more intentional way. And, after each day the reader will be provided with practical ways they can grow in their faith. Whether it is a task of a disciple, or a character quality or attitude, readers are invited to allow Scripture to change their thinking so that they can be changed as a human being.

This would be a great study for Lent. If only I had noticed it soon enough...

Book Review of Real: Becoming a 24/7 Follower of Jesus by Jamie Snyder

Real: Becoming a 24/7 Follower of Jesus
by Jamie Snyder
ISBN 978-0-7642-1099-0
Bethany House
Reviewed by Clint Walker

Real is a book about living our faith from the inside out, every day of the week. The premise of this book is a question the author was inspired to ask himself. That question was, "Would people know I was a Christian if they did not see me at church?"

From this initial question Jamie Snyder begins by making the case that the Christian faith is not about Sunday, but rather about what we do the rest of the week. After making this case, Snyder espouses certain values, attitudes and behaviors that are hallmarks of authentic Christians that live their faith visibly and attractively in the world around them.

The book is pretty simple and straightforward. Having said that, the book has questions and answers at the end of every chapter, and would make a fascinating discussion for many church groups. And, it is well-organized enough that it could be easily adapted for a teaching/preaching series.

This book is both instructional and informational, and will be very encouraging to many believers in Jesus.

Book Review of Bad Dad's of the Bible by Roland C. Warren

Bad Dad's of the Bible: 8 Mistakes Every Good Dad Can Avoid

By Roland C. Warren
ISBN 978-0-310-33716-4
Zondervan
Reviewed by Clint Walker

Many of our Bible heroes were wonderful leaders, and not so good parents. Roland Martin takes us through a journey of learning from the mistakes of Old Testament fathers so that we can be better fathers ourselves.

Most of the advice contained in this book is helpful and intelligently communicated, but also common sense. Topics covered include being a good role model for your children, and not abandoning your child. However, there are also some guidelines that should be common sense, but are rarely communicated. These include not making your children compete for your affection, or not addressing sibling rivalry before it gets out of control.

This would be a fun book for a group of young fathers to read through and discuss.

Book Review of Fresh Air by Jack Levison

Fresh Air: The Holy Spirit for an Inspired Life
by Jack Levison
ISBN 978-1-61261-068-9
Paraclete Press
Reviewed by Clint Walker

Very few books come more highly recommended than this fine book from Jack Levison. With glowing reviews from people such as Eugene Peterson, Nicole Nordeman, N.T. Wright, and Will Willimon, I wondered if the publicity might overstate the value of this book. They did not. This book is as good as advertised.

This brilliant book does a wonderful job of weaving together the narrative of the Spirit, the author's personal narrative, and the story of God as revealed in Scripture.

The text has a narrative flow that makes it easy to read, and yet there are times when you must stop to think. It moves through Scripture in a sequential and logical ways, in many ways communicating a biography of the Holy Spirit and his relationship to humanity. Levison shares enough insightful stories and pithy, well-written lines that at the same time readers will pause to ponder. Each chapter has companion Scriptures to study and consider.

The book, while accessible, has theological depth. Especially, as one might consider, the theological depth relates to the person and the work of the Holy Spirit. And while some theological books on the Holy Spirit simply cause one to think, it becomes very clear that Levison's goal is to form spirits.

As I read and continue to read, I sense this book touching and forming my own spirit. For that I am grateful.

Book Review of God's Great Blessings Devotional by Patricia Raybon

God's Great Blessings Devotional
by Patricia Raybon
ISBN 978-1-4143-3871-2
Tyndale Publishing
Reviewed by Clint Walker

While Jennifer was in cancer treatment and sleeping last week I went out to run around town a little bit. And when I say run around town, I mean look at office supplies and books. So, after leaving Office Max I headed to BAM to look over what might be on sale.

Last time I was at BAM was a little after Christmas, and I had noticed this devotional on the shelf that looked good, but it was much too expensive. When I returned last week it was still on the shelf, and it was  was half-off! So I purchased the book right away, and I have not regretted it.

Currently, I am trying to work through a week a day until I get caught up on where I am supposed to be for the year with this devotional. Both the appearance of the book (a light green color with greenery), and the fact that the author is female could fool you into thinking the devotional is targeted at women, but I have found this to be far from the truth. This is a very well-written, human devotional full of thoughtful insights on Christian living.

A little research will demonstrate that Patricia Raybon is a very accomplished writer, and crafting a devotional such as this could be considered a little below her pay grade. A professor, journalist, and author of several books, Raybon is respected for her writing skill throughout the country.She has partnered with nationally respected ministries in the past, as well as wrote for publications such as The New York Times, Newsweek, and USA Today.

Each week in this devotional has a theme. As the week goes on, Raybon shares six different thoughts about the theme for the week, and then at the end of the week there is a day that is open for the reader to respond and think about what they have learned over the 7 days. After the reflection questions, the whole process starts again. Again it is very well done.

If you are looking for a devotional that challenges you to think and feel the gospel, this is the study for you. Purchase one at your nearest bookstore before they are all snapped up.

Book Review of Draw the Circle: The 40-Day Prayer Challenge by Mark Batterson

Draw the Circle: The 40-Day Prayer Challenge
by Mark Batterson
ISBN 978-0-310-32712-7
Zondervan (Harper Collins)
Reviewed by Clint Walker

I grabbed this book off the shelf at Sam's Club the other day. The DS of the United Methodists gave us a copy of The Circle Maker for Christmas, and had recommended the book to me earlier in the year. Since I am doing some study on prayer for both worship and Sunday school, I decided to add this in as a Lenten Devotional. And I have to say, it has been simply fantastic.

I love this book for several reasons. First, each chapter seems to have at least one memorable or pithy quote. Also, Batterson litters his book with helpful stories and illustrations that bring home his point. Each day's devotion is short, but more in depth than simply a daily devotional. Draw the Circle strikes a balance between being encouraging and inspirational, while at the same time being convicting. Finally, at times the text offers practical insights at times of action steps to improve one's prayer life, which will really aid folks who feel the need to be "hands-on" while growing deep in their prayer journey.

Grab this book now. Your life will be changed.

The New Normal

I have learned a lot the last six months. One of the things that has become more apparent is that a diagnosis of breast cancer not only initiates a woman into a world of medical procedures and a extended web of caregivers, it also initiates women into a sorority of patients and survivors that is more broad and intriguing than most folks would imagine.

Lately, Jennifer has been in a conversation with a woman in our small town who was just diagnosed with breast cancer. Her case of cancer looks more frightening and malignant than anything we faced. Jennifer and Sara, however, also share a lot in common. They are both mothers of toddlers. They are both professionals who are going to have to struggle to balance family and professional lives with treatment.

As Jennifer's husband, and a somewhat observant fellow, I have noticed that as Jen dialogues with Sara, she is working through a lot of the early days of her diagnosis all over again. Jen is remembering how she felt, and she is pondering how she made it through it all to where she is now. If  you follow her blog, you can see how she is doing that through her words of gratitude for the blessings she has received.

As I observe Sara and Jen, I also begin to notice certain stages that people go through on their breast cancer journey. Early on, many folks respond by "taking the fight" to cancer. This is healthy. Defeating breast cancer is quite a battle, and bolstering one's energy and seeking the support of others in the battle against cancer is powerful in one's ability to endure the painful and often humbling realities of chemotherapy.

One thing, that one often misses at this stage of dealing with the breast cancer journey is this: things will never be the same. In the early stage, there is this latent, unspoken hope that one will have a temporary battle to overcome this illness, and then you will get your "normal" life back. The truth is, nothing will ever be the same again. Your relationship with your spouse will be profoundly changed for the rest of your life. Your children's lives' trajectory will also be altered, especially if you are parents of children who are not adults. Your career and your habits will be minimally or greatly altered.

When I was adapting to my family's changing face during the breast cancer, I found myself somehow hoping to survive for a few weeks or months, thinking we would get through everything and then get back on track from where they were. At some point, I came to the conclusion that there was no going back to the way things were ever, and that I needed to face a new normal. In fact, we have had to face several new normals since then. And in case you missed it by now: the old normal is dead, and a new normal is then resurrected from its ashes.

The mystery of this ruthless disease is that, in the middle of its terror and death-seeking horror, it brings new life at the same time. I would never want to go through what we have gone through in the last 6 months ever again, but at the same time, I would have never wanted to miss the journey with Jennifer and the girls.

I would never want things to be back to normal. I would want Jennifer to be healthier again. I would want her to be stronger again. But she is not the same person I married, or even the same person I knew last year at this time. I was in love with the old Jen, and I have fallen in love with the new one too. Our lives together, although at times more stressful and tenuous, has taught us at the same time to treasure moments more fully and helped each of us grow into more of the people the Spirit is making us to be.

What I am saying, if you have not guessed it, is this. The cancer journey, while forcing all of us to face Jen's mortality, has also been, in a small way, a rebirth of sorts. We don't know where all of this new life is taking us. We do know that we will not be the same, and that God, in his unspeakable, mysterious grace, is making the darkness just a seedbed for new light. And what will become, while in His loving hands, in also a result of our choices to fight, to love, to adapt, to adjust, and to grow.