Fish Face

The last couple of days I have been thinking about ministry and its implications in my thoughts about being a public versus a private person. As I watch television I see that there are many famous people that struggle in living in a fish bowl. But, of everyday occupations, I think being in the ministry is unique in this respect.

I think the thing I was prepared for least was life in the fish bowl in ministry. In the small towns and neighborhoods I have ministered in, it was everywhere. You were a public person at the IGA, in the middle of traffic, and in the grocery store.

This is true in a different way in larger cities like where I am now (1/2 million in Metro Area). I was sitting at Easter dinner at a home and people were talking about different things, and I came to the conclusion that everything I do anywhere near church people in a public act.

This insight also gave me perspective on why certain people act the way that they do. There are many times where I think that things that are said to me should be said in private instead of discussed in public. Sometimes, I am sensitive to having public conversation and being teased publically by people in large meetings or worship services. I wish those people would have not brought things out into the public sphere without talking with me in private first. Not that big of a deal now, but at the time it was. Then it came to me, these are people used to living most of their lives in a public sphere. I am still not sure I am ready for that.

Yet in some ways I am. There is a certain sense in which being an open public person is essential for both writing and ministry. This is often a big struggle for minister's families. Not only children, but parents and extended family. All of a minister's life experience makes up their spirituality, and thus much of it is grist for the mill of helping others grow spiritually.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to live a two-faced life. I don't want to have a life with a bunch of deep dark secrets. But once in a while, it would be nice to not have the T-shirt you wear to the grocery store as grist for the mill of congregational conversation.

ANY WHOOO I am not sure I am making any sense, so I will get done.