It is 10am. I am at the bottom of a nearly empty dumpster. How did I get there? Well, that is an interesting story.
I was heading out to work about an hour before, and suddenly started to panic, because I had no idea where my wallet was. Normally this is a crisis. But, with my vehicle registration overdue, and my check coming to me today, I went into full scale panic mode.
At first, I started stumbling around cussing like a sailor. Then I started taking deep breathes and giving myself affirmation statements like, "Just settle down, Clint, you will find it....now take another deep breathe...where haven't you looked you big stud you..." Then I got into panic prayer mode. "Dear God....PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE"..which worked into resume prayers...you know where you try and tell God why you deserve to find the wallet. Finally I came to the conclusion that I must have thrown away the wallet. Which meant........DUMPSTER DIVING.
At first I thought I could reach the bags I had thrown in last night without diving into the dumpster. So I teetered on the edge of the dumpster, hands reaching down on one side, and legs kicking around on the other. Unfortuneately, my body style and center of gravity in not compatable with this, so I rocked back and forth on my belly like a teeter-totter and got nowhere.
So I decided to jump in, using the handles for the trash truck to pull myself up so I could jump in. Now I was stuck five feet below in the dumpster. After a little while I figured a way out. Went into the house. Threw the cushions on my couch everywhere. Then took one last look and there was my wallet. In the pouch to my backpack sitting in the car.