Thursday, January 29, 2009

Turning Inward

I go through phases. Sometimes, in my life and in my ministry, I am driven to connect with people. At those extroverted times, making visits with people in the church is easy. I am eager to get to know people. At those times I crave social activities and social times with those I care about.

Then there are phases like I am experiencing now. I dread talking to people on the phone. At those times I am not very social. I either want to have my nose in a book or have my face in front of a computer monitor. I get into conversations, and think I should contribute something, but then hold back becaause I know the conversation will take too much work to unpack.

I often wonder,when I am going through either phase, if I should try and embrace the mood and phase I am in, or push back against the feelings I have at that time. For instance, should I push myself to be out among people when I am in my more introverted phase, or use that phase to accomplish desk work, pray and study? Should I stretch myself to find people to connect with when I feel like going into my metaphorical cave? Should I make myself take time to be alone when I am in the middle of a highly social stage? Or should I embrace my desire to indulge a social "binge"?

Most of the time I try and push myself toward balance. I think it is important to have balance. But right now, I am finding it hard to have balance. Is that a bad thing, or just a part of my natural cycle of ministry and life? Also, is this common in other people's lives, or am I alone in this socialization cycle?

1 comment:

reliv4life said...

I think you should listen - like now, for some reason, you need to withdraw. Your mind/body/spirit something needs a repreive, so give in to it, maybe it won't last as long if you do. Or maybe you have tried that and it doesn't work? I am an extreme extrovert, so, when I crave being away from people - I give in to it. I turn off my cell phone and escape for an evening, by the next day I am ready to plug back in. Sounds like yours goes on longer than that?

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