Role Reversal

It has been different doing the whole role reversal thing lately. Especially today.

I have been nagging mom on what she can and cannot do. She feels a little sore still, but sees herself as fully capable of doing lots of things she should not. So, I have become the nag that chases her around and tells her to sit down and keeps an eye on her.

If I am not careful, mom will beat me to the dishwasher, load the laundry machine, take things in and out of the oven etc. She is a 1-2 grade teacher, a mother of two, and the oldest of 5 siblings whose mother was widowed. Mom's whole mode of operation is caring for others. She is not only my mother, she is the type of person who mothers everyone, and mothers for a living as well. Now she can't really do much of that at all after neck surgery with bone fusion and disc removal.

Today we went into the doctor. I asked mom if she wanted me to come in with her. Nah, she said, I will just have her report to you when she is done with me. I kept telling her the things she cannot do. But mom has a hard time believing me.

Friar--"Mother if you cannot vacuum you cannot push the grocey cart"

Mom--"Damn it! I am not that bad off."

Friar--"Mom if you dont settle down we are going to have you get one of those hovercraft carts you can drive around in"

Mom--"F*** you" (she said this in a loving way with a smile on her face)

Friar--Love you

Mom--Love you too baby. (Squeezes my hand and moves to side of the cart and holds on to it and guides its direction)

OR

I was out talking to Tera in the greenhouse while she was smoking a few cigs after work.

Clint--I need to check on the pizza. I think it is about done.

Tera and Clint go inside. Mom has already taken the chicago style pizza out of the oven.

Friar--"Damn it mom. That pizza is 6 pounds and you are not supposed to be lifting more than 5. And you should not be picking things up and putting stress on your neck.

Mom--"It would have burnt if you were not in here. Dont worry I am fine. I am not helpless.

Friar--"Sorry I am not doing a good enough job as a cook and a housecleaner. I will try and do a better job next time"

Mom--"Now you are making me feel guilty Clint, that is mean."

Tera--laughs and smiles, because I just told her I have been giving mom guilt trips every time she cannot do something because I cannot win an argument with her.

So anyway she is in the doctors office. And the doctor came out, and started describing what she could and could not do. Long story short, the doctor was clearly telling her what I had been saying for a week.

Doctor--no jerking motions. No up and back motions. No bending over. She can do dishes if she is standing upright.

Friar--So she can rinse dishes and do dishes by hand but not take dishes in and out of the dishwasher.

Doctor--Correct.

Mom--Brat!

Friar--What about pushing shopping carts

Doctor--That is to much back and forth jerking motions. Not good.

Mom--gives me a look like "OK, you win"

Friar--She is wanting to go into work.

Doctor--You have just had major surgery. You need to take care of yourself or you are going to have to go through this all over again.

I did not say I told you so. I guess because it was written all over my face. So we got home and I told my mother.

Friar--You know what mom, I think you could have the cleanest house in the world from the chest up.

Mom--Shut up. (Gives me a little punch on the arm. We both giggle. She sits down to watch more of the first season of Six Feet Under.)