Sunday, October 09, 2005

The Answer Man--Part 2

A couple of new questions have come across in the continuing idea I borrowed from Brea's blog of ASK CLINT ANY 3 QUESTIONS

The Gig asked:
Have you ever regretted being a minister?

That is a hard question to answer.

Financially, I wish I had taken a year off sometime, went home and lived with one of my parents, and retired my school debt. That would have changed the course of my ministry.

Personally, sometimes I wish I had settled down with a family before I went into the ministry. Cause there is not a huge dating pool out there for ministers, much less overweight youth pastors who are losing hair and are still paying off their school debt. To be honest, the fact that I am a minister alters nearly every relationship I have. I wish I had people outside my family who related to me as CLINT instead of CLINT, the ordained minister.

Also, there have been times where a mix of depression and really negative circumstances in ministry that make me wonder if what I am doing is really of any value. At that time I wonder if I really heard God correctly, and whether I just need to start over with my life. There are times like this where I feel trapped by God. Like I am stuck where I am and there is no way out!

BUT, in the end, I try not to live regrets. I try to live in the faith and hope that the hurt, pain, and struggle I feel during the times I want to give up and wonder if I made the right choice will be redeemed. That somehow, I will look back and go...OH NOW I GET IT. I still live in the hope of the NOW GET IT moment with some stuff in ministry. MY MOMMA always taught me that I need to follow my heart. Following my heart is what brought me to this point. So, GIG, I think of them as things I struggle with more than regrets. Does that make any sense?

Heather asked:
If you could go back and do one thing all over again in your life, what would it be and why?

Well at the risk of sounding very shallow, the first thing that comes to mind is the semifinals of the state wrestling tournament my senior year. There was this guy I wrestled who I pinned the first time, he beat me on the points the second time, and I was wrestling him the third time in the semifinals. We were both heavyweights so he was about 40 pounds heavier than I was at weigh ins. He was an airforce kid, a TOTAL jerk, and had his coach argue or contest something every time he got tired because I was running five miles a day, lifting weights and then going to grueling wrestling practices. So anyway...there was this opportunity where he slipped off of me and I had the opportunity if I did not think about it to attack but by the time I thought about it, the opportunity was lost and I lost the match 5-2. I relive that match that happened 15 years ago at least once every other month. The big city paper read on Sunday...."It was the match everybody wanted to see. Greg Fann and John Copeland, both giant heavyweights, wrestled in the finals, each with only one loss on the season to HOMER's Clint Walker

What if I would have won? I could have wrestled in college instead of played football! I could have stayed on the West Coast, and went to the college with the coach from FOREST GROVE OR!

But I also would not have had met my closest friends, been an ordained minister, or any of that stuff either.

In a more general sense though, I regret not being more confident when I was in high school and college socially.

But as stated in the previous question, I try not to live with regrets.

Sorry for rambling....any other ?s


Brotha Buck said...

Thats interesting because I've always thought of ministers as well paid men in high demand by the women of the congregation. Most women--at least what I've been told-- aren't attracted to men by the physical appearances, but by their personalities, ability to care for a family, Godly hearts and so on. I always figured that the ministers, married or single were the hottest commodities in a congregation. Wrong?

Friar Tuck said...

This year I had to do some research and hand in a chart to show the church how far my salary is below comparably educated and experienced teachers.

I think that might get me a raise this year.

Most Christian women that I have met, at least the ones that there is any interest or spark whatsoever, are scared of by the posssibility of being a minister's spouse. It almost guarantees that they will have to work full time and make more than their husbands. It means that everything they do will be analyzed and judged by the congregation. It often means that those judgements will be unrealistic.

And if the position is not an issue, the denominational background is. I went out on a few dates with a woman who was freaked out that I was Baptist because she was Pentecostal. I would constantly get the "are you baptized in the Holy Spirit"? question.

That was a major hurdle for my good friend who is now a pastor in Iowa. The wife DID NOT feel called to be a pastor's wife for a long time. She eventuall felt more comfortable with the idea, but it took YEARS.

I have one gal who shows a lot of interest in me at my church, but she is a mentally handicapped woman about 8 years my senior.

Other than that, our single women are few and far between.

Unless they are over 55. We have several of those in our congregation.

As I have said before though, I generally run into two types of women.

1. Women who have a strong faith but are very uptight. These are the ones that freak out when you have a beer, put your arm around them without asking, blurt out a cuss word etc.

2. People who have a very immature faith or no faith at all that show interest. They generally are really fun to laugh with, hang out with, talk with, and accept me for me. Except they want to have sex on the second (or sometimes the third) date. That doesn't work for a minister committed to his calling very easily, although at times it does present some serious temptation.

But I have blogged about all this before so I do not want to bore ya..

However, I think the place of a minister is different in the African American community than it is in the white community.

rubyslipperlady said...

Good for you and research. (ICK! I'll never admit that I sorta like it.) Women do desire a godly man who is real. However, there are a lot of fears about being in a position of 'wife of the pastor' or child of the pastor. I have a couple of friends who are PK's and it's a riot to see the fear in their eyes that accompanies the thought process of marrying a pastor themselves. Anyway...

There is a happy medium and perfect choice that the Lord will provide. As a friend of mine told me yesterday - DO NOT SETTLE!

Oh, and best to ya with that whole raise thing! You deserve it!

The Gig said...

Never say never is what I always say. You never know what is around the corner. The Lord knows what you need and what you want and as far as I can see -- you are seeking first the Kingdom of Heaven and you know what comes next. Hang in there "man of God" he knows what you need and will provide. I do; however, understand where you are coming from.