PDA

Ok here is one thing that really bothers me. Excessive displays of public affection.

I dont mind the old folks that hold hands in church that have been married for 40 years. That is kind of adorable to be quite honest.

But there was this couple right behind me here in Starbucks all over each other.

Geez.

When I was in high school my friend Erik, and a few of the rest of us got tired of this couple at a dance that was quickly passing second base and sliding into third. Erik decided we would do something. So about 4 of us just walked up right next to them....they were next to the wall....thrust our necks forward and just stared.

Sam and Kira noticed us and Erik just had this big huge smile. She said, "You are making us uncomfortable." Erik informed them that they now knew how the rest of the people at our dance felt.

Of course this is the same Erik that is now looking at prison for 40 years for sexual assault. Oh well, it was a funny story and a good memory.

We have the same problem at our church. There is this one couple that has to be all over each other constantly. Our worship service had a footwashing. They had to kiss after they washed one anothers feet. Then my friend asked if he could wash mine. I informed him there would be no kissing me afterward, especially if he planned to use tongue.

There are some times when it does not bother me. A couple walking on the beach holding hands. A couple with their arms around each other at the movies. So, it is not that all public displays of affection bother me. But sometimes it makes me really frustrated and really angry. I am trying to figure out why this is.

Here are some of the things I have come up with.

1. It makes me uncomfortable because it is taking private acts into a public sphere. It is the same as when people have restrooms in their home with NO soundproofing, and the user of said restroom does not turn on the fan or run water or anything and is having a vigorous bowel movement. Most of the time you can handle this without giggling, sometimes not, but it is not something you want to hear while you are eating dinner. Regular practice of PDA by some couples strikes me this way.

2. Sometimes when I am around people who are PDA people, you know it is more than a simple kiss or hug. It is foreplay. And yet I am stuck pretending not to notice or be involved, yet drug into the whole process at the same time. And my participation is not voluntary. I suppose it would be different if I was invited to participate somehow....but generally any mention of this behavior being uncomfortable offends people.

3. PDA is often exclusionary in a community setting. This is what I have taught kids as far as PDA goes at youth group. God likes kissing and hugging, and there is nothing sinful about it, but when we are all together it excludes you from others and others from you. Both because it makes people uncomfortable, and because it keeps you from being as open to befriending, getting to know, and caring about others in the group. That is why PDA does not bother me in some settings, because it is obviously a setting where people are together as a couple in the midst of the crowd, and their PDA-type behavior appropriate to that setting.

I dont know why this is all on my mind, except the couple sitting right behind me was basically dry-humping in the middle of a coffee shop, it was driving me crazy, and I was trying to figure out why it bothered me so much.