My Sunday adventure or In Search of a Decent Apology

These days I am trying to grow a goatee. I have had the patch on the bottom of my chin off and on for a while. I recently started shaving again about November because of the bleach in my hair. And because I felt it was time for a change.

The problem is....I have a round face. And when grow hair on the bottom of my chin then it makes the rest of my face look thinner and thus I look skinnier. And skinnier is always the look I am going for.

So, like I said, I am trying to grow a goatee. This last Sunday I am walking into church and one of the power people at the church yells...."Clint, OH NO! Are you growing facial hair again? I really wish you would not do that. I DONT LIKE IT. I can't believe you are doing that again. It just looks AWFUL. I am so disappointed in you. You should not have FACIAL HAIR.

Ok, I will admit, the little beard or goatee or whatever you call it at the bottom of my chin is not everyone's favorite look for me. I am real about that. I like how it looks in the profile pic personally, but think at times it gets to be a little mangy. And I should have shaved it off right away when I died my hair. But after looking at before and after pictures....I look better with it. And besides, it is kind of a security blanket anymore.

Nevertheless, I did not think I deserved a dressing down about the matter in the entryway of the church by the wealthiest and most influential member of my congregation. Neither did he. So, about 5 minutes later he comes into my office.

He started to apologize and I felt thankful.

He said, "I apologize for my behavior, it was inappropriate."

I was feeling like this could be a true breakthrough in our relationship. But, he could not keep quiet. His next sentence ruined everything.

"My behavior was not worthy of me!"

I am taken aback. What the hell does that mean. Not worth of him? It was not worthy of me! I was the one that was attacked. But somehow he turned his apology into something where he was the victim of himself and I was just in the way.

I was trying to wrap my head around what he was trying to communicate. He rambled on about how facial hair was just not appropriate for men (what about women?) and this was especially true for people in the pulpit (Didn't Moody have a beard...and doesn't Rick Warren have a goatee?). After about a minute of telling my why he is right he again continues with saying...MY BEHAVIOR WAS NOT WORTHY of me. Over and over. When he left I thought he was even more of a jerk than when he came to apologize.

He communicated that his issues were his issues...not mine. Then he left.

And I began to wonder how we will ever muster up enough momentum to grow anywhere as as a church getting hung up on this. So I vented my frustration in a productive way. We talked as a youth group about repentance and the proper way to apologize with examples from Scripture. That way...maybe we wont end up with the next generation acting as badly. Or, at least they will have the opportuinity to learn different.