Wednesday, October 03, 2007

CROP WALK

Last Sunday we participated in an activity called "Crop Walk" at our church. Basically it is a fundraising walk that helps combat world hunger and local homelessness. Our youth joined in with the walk, as did other people from our church as well as 14 other churches throughout our community. CROP stands for Communities Responding to Overcome Poverty. In total, our church had 26 people contributing $880 dollars to the cause. Most of that was raised by our teens.



This first picture is of Dawn Martinez, Reggie Hale, my fiance Jennifer and I. The total walk was just over 3.7 miles. Dawn, Jennifer and I finished just ahead of the 70 year old women with walkers.




The second picture is of James and Reggie resting and waiting for their youth leaders (Jen, Dawn and I) after they finished the walk.



The third picture is of Tiffany and Lindsay. They are both 8th grade girls. They finished strong and had fun!


This is a picture of Julia, one of our high school gals that hates to have her picture taken.



This is a picture of me with a full water bottle just before we left on our walk. It is important to stay hydrated when it is over 80 degrees and you are walking in a big crowd!

Friday, September 28, 2007

Clint's NFL Picks




Houston at Atlanta
I think Atlanta wins their first game at home in a close contest.
I called this upset! Yeah Baby!

NY Jets at Buffalo
This will be another close one, but I think the Bills win this game because it is at home.
I was all over this one, wasn't I?

Baltimore at Cleveland
Cleveland in an upset at home.
I could have made big bucks if I would have bet on this one. Woot!

St. Louis at Dallas
Dallas wins big!
This one was a gimme!

Chicago at Detroit
Detroit wins this game and goes to 3-1. Maybe John Kitna was not that far off with his prediction!
Did you know Detroit is now my #2 team. It is the least I could do for my Jenny!

Oakland at Miami
Culpepper gets sweet revenge as Raiders even their mark for the year, and tie their win total from last year.
Ok, again I called this upset as Oakland gets better and better.

Green Bay at Minnesota
I think Minnesota upsets Green Bay in this game.
I was wrong with this one. My first loss of the day on Sunday.

Tampa Bay at Carolina
Tampa wins another game led by Jeff Garcia.
Another insightful prediction!

Seattle at San Francisco
Seattle wins in a high scoring nail biter.
Ok, so it was not as close as I thought, but oh well.

Pittsburgh at Arizona
Pittsburgh wins this game, but it is closer that most might think.
I did not listen to my first instinct here, and it cost me.

Denver at Indianapolis
Denver gets an upset against the Colts.
See if I ever give the Broncos the benefit of the doubt again!

Kansas City at San Diego
San Diego goes to .500
Arghh!

Philadelphia at NY Giants
Philidelphia wins and also goes to .500
Philly is always so unpredictable!

New England at Cincinnati
New England wins in a rout!
This one was easy for everyone I think.
I started well, but finished poorly in the late games! I am so proud of the upsets I picked!

total record 9-5. Not good. Not bad.

Bea Bogart

One of the most memorable funerals I ever attended was George Bogart’s funeral. Toward the end of the service, Bea stood up and shared about her husband. She shared about how her husband sent for her when he had his affairs together to come and be his wife. As Bea was discussing this major life change with her mother, she said her mother told her, “You better go to him Bea. He is a good man, and he will be the kind of man who will always put your needs above himself”. Bea left soon after, and a happy marriage of several decades began.

Bea went on to share that her mother was right, and that her husband always put her first every day of their lives together. I am not a man who cries easily, but I had to choke back the tears that day. As I heard about their loving relationship, I felt like I was on holy ground.

At the end of last month, as Bea entered hospice care, Pastor Barbara passed on a message that Bea wanted to see me. A few days later, I dropped in to see Bea. She was having a rough time. Illness has limited the use of half of her body. Her hearing aid worked intermittently at best. She was sleeping most of the day. Yet, as she awoke her face quickly filled with a grin. It took her a little time to recognize me, but as she did she had a story to tell.

She decided to congratulate me on my recent engagement. “Clint, I have been praying for you for years. I hear such good things about your Jen. She sounds so kind and so pretty. I am so happy for you!”

She reiterated her joy for me several times. I attempted to turn the conversation toward how she was doing. Over and over again, she would return to how God had answered her prayer.

Eventually, I asked if I could pray for her. She nodded her head indicating that I could. I began to pray for her healing and strength. In the middle of my prayer she interrupted me, and began to pray for my future marriage. She said and repeated in her prayer that she wanted me to have the kind of marriage that she and her husband had experienced. What a prayer! What a gift!

I was deeply moved. I was touched not only because she thought of me, but because of the person she was. Noticing that she was in failing health, she called me into her room to give me a blessing. And not just any blessing, but a blessing like the saints of old offer in their twilight years. Even as she lay in a hospice bed, unable to care for her self physically, she was seeking to be a minister of Christ. As Bea struggled to stay awake, she was seeking to love rather than be loved, and to bless rather than be blessed. May it be so with each of us.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

On Stewardship

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
(I John 4:18)

The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?
(Psalm 118:6)

If most people were asked what the opposite of faith is, what do you think they would say? The traditional answer would be to say that doubt is the opposite of faith. You may be surprised, maverick that I am, that I would look at things a little differently. I believe that acknowledging doubt is part of having honest faith, not the opposite of having faith. Faith is an action word. Although we often morph faith into some sort of noun so we can define and tame it, faith is actually more of a verb in Christian spirituality. Faith is actively trusting when we do not have all the answers. Doubt is about being unsure. That sense of being unsure, otherwise known as doubt, can either lead us to trust (have faith) or lead us to be fearful. What is the opposite of faith? If you were to ask me, it is anxiety and fear.

Anxiety and fear are some more of those action-words that we have tamed by trying to make them into nouns. How much of our lives do we live based on our fears? How much of our energy do we put toward feeling safe? How much time do we put toward increasing our financial and personal security? How much energy do we devote toward worrying about what people think? How many great opportunities do we avoid due to fear of failure? I think if we looked, we would discover that sometimes our lives are governed by fear. We struggle with fear of ourselves, fear of others, fear of the unknown, and maybe even fear of God. We prefer the scarcity of what we can control to the abundance that God has to offer--if we would only have the courage to trust him.

As I said in the worship service a couple of weeks ago, many churches tend to order their programs and their ministries around their anxieties. They are afraid of their church dying, so they hire people to work with children and youth. Churches are afraid of feeling old or insecure around younger folks, so they do not volunteer to work with them. Many children and youth are afraid of adults in church for many reasons too. Students are afraid they will not be valued or heard. They are afraid of what truly trusting in Jesus may cost them. Kids are afraid they will be a part of a church that is passionless and pointless. A lot of ministry is based on where our fears are.

In the years I have served at First Baptist, there have been some of our decisions that have been based upon our anxieties about one another. Sometimes worry someone else will be angry with us if we do what we think is right. Once in a while, make decisions that will alter the future of our church in one direction or another based on our worries about one or two individuals. Sometimes we have a difficulty trusting one another enough, to speak the truth in love. Both stewardship and our relationships in our churches can based on our anxieties.

Sometimes we also worry about money. Every August of each year I have been here, we have begun discuss how much money we have, and whether we will have enough. I believe we need to be good stewards. I believe we need to be responsible with our money, and at times even be frugal. I also believe we can be good stewards of our resources while living in faithful action instead of being ruled by anxiety, guilt, and fear.

As we look toward our annual stewardship time in our church, let us not simply look at the bottom line. Let us look at the abundance God has given to us. Let us celebrate how God has seen us through some difficult losses in the last year. We can also celebrate that God has kept this church in existence for the last 135 years. Then, let us look beyond the facts and figures, beyond the bottom line, and begin to ask how God may be leading us have courage to face the future at First Baptist Church. What changes is God asking us to make? What dream is he giving us to achieve? What adventure is he calling us to be a part of?

After we have looked at our church, let us look at ourselves. How is God calling us to be good stewards of our lives? How is God calling us to face our fears in relationship to our church? How is he calling us to face our anxieties about other people and begin to have the courage to serve where God is calling us? What is God saying to us about having the courage to build closer relationships with friends, and break down barriers of hostility with folks we do not get along with at church? And, how is God calling us to be a part of God’s dream for First Baptist by committing to support our church financially? Listen to God. Trust how you feel led. Step out in courage. Know that God is a God of provision and abundance.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

The Pick-up Artist


The man in goggles is named "Mystery". Mystery hosts a show called "The Pick-Up Artist", in which he is an expert in picking up chicks. He is the role model for several single men who have struggled in their relationships with women for most of their lives. When I first flipped through this show, I thought "what the h**l is this?" There is this androgenous, metrosexual man coaching young men on how to be successful ladies. What would he know?

It turns out, the show is really good, but not for the reasons I might have anticipated. It is a good show because it helps the men who are involved grow and feel better about themselves. Mystery seems like a manipulator and a player. The men involved, however, seem to grow in there abilities to connect with and relate to people. They begin to see themselves as persons of value, inside and outside of the romantic realm. The skills that they learn work not only because they are basic assets of good "game" with the ladies, but because they free the men to step out from behind their fears and confidently relate to women.

I think there is something that is very primal about this. A lot of times psychology tries to build confidence through self-esteeem enhancement. If you want to build confidence in people, build a sense in their lives that they are competent with things. Give them skills. Allow them to have small sucesses and build on them. Don't just give them daily affirmations.

Monday, September 03, 2007

I am engaged



Yesterday, I asked Jennifer Adler to marry me. She said yes. We have not set a date yet. But we are having a lot of fun thinking about the future.

I am working on establishing a new charity. It is called "sponsor the groom". The goal is to help grooms pay for their weddings and honeymoons. My sponsor number is ALPHADOG00001. Cash donations are acceptable, especially with unmarked bills. :)

Have a great Labor Day!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Green Lake Trip

At the end of July, I went on my summer trip with the teenagers in our church again. We went to Green Lake, WI via Minneapolis for the Quest Leadership Program, and we had a lot of fun. The kids were really easy to work with this year, which was really nice considering everything else that has happened at First Baptist. Here we are as we arrived at the Green Lake Camp and Conference Center in Green Lake, WI.



The program had us in small groups in the morning after worship. The kids had workshops in the afternoon, and then everyone had free time for about 2-3 hours in the afternoon. Here are a few of the kids swimming:




Here is a morning worship service after our prarie prayer walk:



Each evening we would have a worship time as well. The last evening we had worship around a campfire, as is traditional for church camps. Here I am with the girls that were on the trip:



In the coming days I will be adding some journal entries that I wrote during the week.

Obedience and Worship

I have been reading about worship and celebration in the classic book about Spiritual Disciplines called "Celebration of Discipline" by Richard Foster.

As I was reading I ran into this quote, "Just as worship begins in holy expectancy, it ends in holy obedience. If worship does not propel us into greater obedience it has not been worship. Holy Obedience saves worship from becoming an opiate, an escape from the pressing needs of the modern life. Worship enables us to hear the call to service clearly so that we respond." (173).

One of my frustrations with being a leader and a teacher in churches is I feel the constant demand from people to give them the "easy button" to a closer relationship with God. People want five purposes that are easy to apply and utterly change their life. They want one structural change to our churches programs that will make the "big difference", and will change everything. Furthermore, they don't want that easy thing to cost them very much.

Nowhere is this attitude more pervasive than in worship. Maybe if there was better music people say, than more people would walk through the door. Perhaps if there was a more dynamic sermon, than our faith journeys would be a little easier. In other words, if I had my way in this, that, or the other, than my life would be easier.

The truth is though, many of treat worship like the "opiate" or drug described in the quote. It is something to make me happy. To make me feel good. To make life a little easier. So we come to worship saying we want to hear God, but when we say we want to hear God what we mean is that we want God to whisper daily affirmations in our ear. We don't want to obey. We don't want to follow. That might mean we have to deal with our drinking problem, our greed, our anger, and do the hard work of choosing God over our destructive habits.

That is not an easy word to hear.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Journal Entry for July 29, 2007

I wonder a lot about the importance or lack of importance of adding value, and of being of value. Actually, if I am honest, this is an inner struggle I wrestle with quite often. I have a deep desire to add value to the organizations I am with, and the missions I am a part of. Yet, there is a deep sense in which I should avoid this "need to be needed".

I have been pondering this a lot on this trip in particular. I think this tension between wanting to add value, and at the same time wanting to avoid the need to be needed makes me hard to read at times. I want to step up, be a leader, and take charge when needed. Yet, I do not want to be one of those people who has a need for power.

When I think about my next step in my calling to ministry, there is a strong desire on my heart to be a senior/solo pastor. As I think about this, I wonder if part of this stems from a need to be valued. Valued for my contributions. Valued for my leadership. Valued as a human being. Then I wonderif a desire to be valued and to add value is a selfish thing or a healthy thing? Is it something I should be comfortable with or shy away from? Is God speaking to me through these thoughts and feelings about changing my situation or myself?

Should I consider a solo pastorate that pays even less?

Should I look at an associate pastor position and risk going through what I have went through in Colorado all over again?

At First Baptist, is my concern more that I am not adding value, or that I am not being valued, especially by those in leadership? I think my greatest fear is that at some point it may become both.


Should I pursue something new and different?

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Reverend Green Thumb

A couple months ago, I considered whether having plants was too big a commitment for me. With as little time as I have, I wondered if I could really invest a lot of time in caring for some houseplants.




After careful consideration, I made the plunge into being a plant owner. I have found that I enjoy them more than I thought I might have at first. They make my apartment feel more like a home, and maintaining and caring for the plants is great for stress relief. I can just focus on the little things I need to do in caring for the plants, and forget about the stuff that is happening at work.




Here are a few of the plants





This first plant is my mother's choice from her visit this summer. She kept saying she wished she had a bigger pot to plant them in. I have a bigger pot now, but I prefer to save those for my plants instead of my annual flowers.








The second picture is a very poor image of something similar to a rubber plant. Will be great inside during the winter this year!











The third picture is not an aloe vera, but it is something in the same family. It is a little darker green, and seems to be a popular plant this year.









One of the tricks I have learned with houseplants is that if you want something generic, you can pic that up at Lowe's or Walmart. But, if you are looking for a plant that is a little bit more special, you are better off going to a nursery. I got this lupine at the nursery. I had to prune it back to only two shoots, but now look at it! It even has a flower that is starting to emerge.











I wanted a flower box or two for my small patio. Mom went shopping with me when I was here. I picked about 3/4 of the flowers, and then mom started taking over the whole project. Our combinded tastes went pretty well together, although I think she would have wanted a lot more fragrant plants. She did the arranging with the flower boxes. Looks good doesn't it. Both my mother and father have a good eye for such things.




This is another unique plant. It is some variation on the pink quill section of the bromilead family, although the quill looks more red and yellow than pink. This is one of the few versions of this type of plant that are potted. Many others of them don't have roots, and get their moisture from the air to grow and survive.




This plant is my sucess story. I got it with maybe four leaves on it from Walmart, but look at it now. It just keeps growing and growing.


More pictures later....



Journal for July 30, 2007

I chose to build off of my question from yesterday. With the kids, I asked them to carry one question with them through the week, and offer it as a question they could seek the answer for during their week at this conference.

My question is: Am I adding value in ministry to you, Lord? Do I really matter in your church's ministry, or are you finished with me there?

Sunday, August 12, 2007

The Beauty of Adolescence--Journal July 31, 2007

I have been thinking a lot today about the beauty of adolescence and adolescent people as a group. Over and over again I am in awe of you, Lord, but none more than when I think of my kids that you have put into my care and smile. I love watching them grow. I love watching them bumble and tumble into adulthood.

I was watching James today, and I had to laugh. There he was digging around and diving underwater, picking up rocks in the swimming area, and moving them. He is some ways is like a little boy. But then there are times when I sit around and talk to him and I am in awe of the man he has become in the last four years. Thank you Lord for letting me have a small part in his life, and a small role in pointing him toward you.

There is so much I lose patience with in youth ministry. I get tired of all the goofy games. I get tired of challenging kids to care, and feeling like they never do. But I love loving teens with the love of God. I love sharing my life with them. I love sharing my faith with them. I love sitting and talking with Emily her relationships with boys in the coffee shop, and struggling with Brad through all his heartaches and frustrations.

All in all, Lord, I love them because you love them. And this stage of growth that so many fear and despise in our churches and our culture I think is more beautiful and powerful than I ever could imagine.

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Sitting in My Angry Chair--August 1, 2007 Journal

I went on the prarie walk at camp today. Robin found it deeply moving. I found it heartwrenching, but in an informative way.

The thing I noticed, and have noticed whenever I have tried to practice the disciplines of silence and solitude, is that anger is never far from me.

As we were challenged to set everything aside as we went on our walk, there were lots of things I could set aside. As much as I tried to sweep anger away, it seemed that anger continued to want to be my companion. It was like I could hear anger breathing heavy behind me, and crouching over my shoulder whenever I tried to do anything on that walk. Anger may not even be the best word. It might be better to say that rage was my companion.

I am angry because in many ways it feels like I have been drawn into a beautiful wooded area on a camping trip, and in the middle of the night everyone decided to pick up camp and leave without me. And here I am in my personal life, on my journey of faith, and in my ministerial journey, left alone and abandoned in a vast wilderness I cannot find my way out of.

I am angry at my family (though not everyone), and some of the things that have happened recently. I am frustrated with parents of teenagers at the church (though not all of them), especially after my talk with one of the kids last night. I am frustrated with constantly being discounted and devalued by leadership at my church. And I am frustrated I did not write this down immediately after the prarie walk, so I could have written it better.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Affirmed--August 2, 2007

Tuesday night was a real blessing to me. After flopping on Monday night, I felt like YOU were leading me to trust my own leadership instincts and abandon our worksheet they had given us to facilitate our discussion with one another.

One of the things I felt led to do, in part because I wanted to cement the bond that our group seemed to be forming through this trip, is to have a time for affirmations. Each person went around the circle and shared something they appreciated about other people in the group. It was great. I thought we could do this for our volunteer and the kids, and avoid having to sit in the affirmation chair. I was wrong. The kids insisted I take my turn.

I expected to hear them say appreciative words about my hard work in organizing the trip, and in some skills I have that they appreciate. I expected them to struggle for words in what to say to me, and for it to be forced and awkward. As a matter of fact, the opposite happened.

I was frankly taken off guard by the group's level of emotion and depth of thought in what they chose to affirm in me. More than one kid cried as they shared what our relationship with one another meant to them. They mentioned my kindness, and my willingness to accept them without judgement or compromise of my values at the same time. They mentioned that they even appreciated when I had the courage to offer them accountability and discipline.

The whole thing was very special. Among adults, I seem to get a majority of my affirmation related to my intellect, and my ability to use that intelligence in teaching, or in offering analysis or support. This time with the kids was different. It was, and this should not surprise me, all about my relationship with them. I guess what surprised me with the situation is that they truly noticed things I thought they would take for granted, including many things I had forgotten myself.

They did not remember what I taught them, and later even asked why they were not getting stuff in youth group that had been taught on multiple occasions. What did they remember? They remembered the relationship. They remembered the faithfulness of my love for them. They remembered the love.

Maybe the Bible is true when it says, "Love covers a multitude of sins".

Thursday, July 19, 2007

A Month of Sundays

There is an interesting article about all the journalists in alternative paper in Seattle going to visit churches, and then writing about their experiences. I especially like the play on words in the title of the article (A Month of Sundays is a book by John Updike), and the description of worship at the Vineyard Church (#6). Lots of sarcasm about religion here, and a little foul language, but also some interesting thoughts.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Solitude


The wind
growls
like a
freight train
coming through
the canyon
stopping for
no one
crashing
through me
without stopping

The wind
stops
the world
is silent
enough to hear
the trill
of invisible birds
and the hum
of hungry insects
hopping from
flower to flower

I sit
on the rocks
that once
sat on
the edge
of a
vast ocean
infinity
surrounds
and moves
past
the speck
that is me

Friday, June 22, 2007

I am the Grim Reaper


I feel very badly. I have prayed for two people to die in the last two months, two people who are prominent Christian leaders, and they both have passed away.

A couple of months ago I saw Jerry Falwell on some television show spouting off his.. well..evil, intolerant, right-wing garbage and was getting angry as he was sharing about the importance of killing Muslims. In line with our inside joke, I turned to Jen and said, "I apologize for my people". (An inside joke: My people=right wing kooks, her people=every left wing nut job special interest groups.)A few moments later I said outloud something to this effect. "Lord, please just take him home. He has had a nice full life. Just take him home." A little over a week later I turned on the radio, and he was dead.

Having not learned my lesson, I recently prayed a similar prayer in a more compassionate sense. Having heard a rerun of a segment on Larry King Live with Billy Graham where he said that she was having a difficult time, and struggled to recognize anyone, I asked God in a brief prayer if he would take her into eternity. Less than a week later, Ruth Graham was also dead as well.

So, I feel a little guilty about Jerry, and not as much about Ruth. Strangely, although God does not answer all my prayers with expediency, this prayer when I pray it seems to have a grisly efficiency. Especially when I do this based upon an immediate, almost impulse-based prompting. And although these are the cases that stick in my mind lately, they are not the only ones. When led to pray for people in my congregations at certain times in this manner, they often die fairly soon after I pray this as well. With the exception of Mr. Falwell, these are all generally folks that are elderly and terminally ill.

Is this creepy or what?

Sunday, June 17, 2007

Finding my voice

I have a friend that studied to be a school psychologist in Montana. Toward the end of my time in Montana, she did a study on adolescent boys. At the time, much of popular thought was focused on the book "Reviving Ophelia", which is a tour de force of the perils of being an adolescent female in America.

Joy did her study on adolescent boys, and used the metaphor of voice change for boys as a metaphor of transition of boyhood to adolescence. One of the things that she found was that they also felt a profound sense of loss of their boyhood as adolescents. This was juxtaposed with this anticipation of this "new voice" they were growing into, and this since of hope that they could be the kind of men they hoped to be.

These days, I find myself seeking my voice in many ways.

Through a number of recent circumstances (for those readers that live in my proximity, it may include all of you, but this is not focused toward any one person individually), I have found myself struggling to relearn how to deal with conflict. Much of my work culture encourages me to swallow my voice in order to help other people function with less stress. My job is to keep my boss and constituents happy, and to chase the elusive dream of pleasing everyone. I have never felt good about this part of our organizational culture, but it has become painfully obvious to me that I have slowly surrendered to it without noticing. Sometimes I feel like I have slowly and imperceptably lost my voice.

Yet, when I try to assert myself in stressful situations I struggle to do it well. My face gets red. I get light-headed. I struggle with dealing with what I am supposed to say, and balancing that with what I want to say and what I honestly feel. And I intend to say one thing, but it sounds different when it comes out than when it was in my head. In some metaphorical way, my voice cracks. What I meant to come out strong yet compassionate instead comes out awkward and disjointed. My voice quivers with frustration.

I often notice in others that when they attempt to grow, they tend to overcorrect the shortcomings of the past. The friend that suddenly learns assertiveness wants to have a 20 minute conversation on how you shake their hand, or why you did not eat the potato salad they fixed and how that made them feel. Part of learning my voice in relation to assertiveness and leadership is not being like that person. Other people I know try to be super-nice and friendly, until they blow up in rage and frustration and anger. I do not want to be that person either.

Also, I have another confession to make. One brief conflict drains me of energy for hours. I had a heated discussion with someone this week about some of the things they were saying about other people I cared about, and it took me a good hour to calm down from the discussion. It so turned out in that conversation I held my own, and the conflict brought us closer. But, even a taste of pro-active conflict does not make me eager to seek out another tense conversation.

Having said that, I have come to the conclusion that learning to assert myself in a confident and healthy manner in interpersonal situations is an important part of the way God wants me to grow. I need to find my new voice, so I can move forward with strength.

What do you do?

I have a friend who used to be a children's minister before she finished her teaching degree. She and her husband had dinner with another couple (both couples were eventually in the small group I lead), and they began to talk about work. My friend's female counterpart was an upwardly-mobile accountant that liked to work for FORTUNE 5oo companies.

During their dinner conversation, I was told the accountant asked the children's minister, "Well...WHAT is it that you DOO all day." My friend fumbled to share a laundry list of small things she did to reach out to children, facilitate our church programs, and do ministry. She came to me, angry at the woman for being condescending, and angry at herself for not having a succict answer.

As she told me this I nodded and smiled. "I know what you should say," I said.

"What?" She replied.

"Say you are spending your life working to change our world by shaping children's spirits and values forever," I said, "Then ask very politely, now what is it YOU do?"

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Pulpit Rock Hike



This summer we are doing some hiking with our youth. We have a very kind man who has initiated this ministry, and it has been exciting to see him pitch in and get excited about a project tied in with youth ministry.


Our first hike, for most hikers, is an easy hike. Not so for me. I tried to hike it with my friend who is leading this hike, and was challenged. (I guess any hike for a fat asthmatic at high elevations during allergy season is a challenge) And since it was not the actual hike, I skipped the hard part. Last Sunday, we did the hike for real. We did not have a great turn out of youth (some folks were busy, some don't like to hike), but the folks that did come had a good time of a "prayer path" experience of hiking up the mountain bit by bit while praying as we went.


I was happy because I made it to the top, did not fall down (like I did on the practice run), and got to spent some quality time with the few people who wanted to show up.


Trip to Michigan














On June 1, I headed out to Michigan with Jen to meet her parents and go to a family wedding. It was a long, yet pleasant trip.


On the first day, we drove from the airport to her mother's house. On the way I got to see all the houses that Jen grew up in, and get a feel for the lay of the land. It was nice.

That evening we stayed at her mom's place. Her mom makes a mean barbeque, which is something I can appreciate.

One thing I noticed immediately about Michigan in relation to Colorado Springs was the size of the yards. Colorado (and Southern California for that matter) have such small yards compared to most of the yards in places like Michigan and Oregon and Kansas. In addition to the large yards, Michigan is a very green place. And, since Jen's mom's place was near a lake, it was especially green.

We left Jackson, Michigan for Sturgis, Michigan the next day. The wedding was in a very small town on the way to Sturgis in a beautiful park. Since her dad was not really in the mood to talk to me, and I did not know a lot of people in Michigan, I went around and took a few photos. Some of the pictures can be seen above.




Here is a pic of Jen and I at the wedding.



After the wedding we made our way to Battle Creek to see where my friend Steve Buie's family lives and where his dad pastors a church. Here is a pic of the church in "cereal city" right past the "majestic mile" (which we were told was not as majestic as it sounds). Besides being a former home of "Super" Steve Buie, it is also home to most of the cereals in the country, and the best, most hospitable and friendly PS Mart employees on the planet.






On Sunday we went up to Jen's dad and stepmom's place up in Midland, MI. We were immediately informed that in Midland there are the "Dows" and the Dow-nots", which is a reference to Dow Chemical having plants in town, and basically sustaining the local economy. We toured houses that Jen's dad has considered or is working on, as Jen's dad reconstructs houses as a hobby and to produce income in his retirement.



The house they are in now I would never leave. It is on a lake and absolutely gorgeous. Here are a couple of my pictures looking toward the house from the lagoon and vise versa.






On Monday, we headed to Belleville, MI to go to Jen's grandparents, and then out on the plane the next day. On the way we stopped at an outlet mall and a very large Borders store in an effort of Jen's to reward me for spending several days with her family. She is a thoughtful and kind girlfriend like that.

We also watched Knocked Up (funny because if you are under 40 you know people like all of the characters in the story, and because it pokes fun at most of our common fears about pregnancy and such), went to an Indian Casino that Jen used to deal blackjack at.

All in all, it was a great new adventure.

Friday, June 08, 2007

More bumper stickers

They that can give up essentional liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither--Ben Franklin

The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism

Christianity might be a good thing if anyone ever tried it

Momma would be proud if she knew that....

Last week I drove all around Ann Arbor and the Detroit suburbs. And I live in Colorado Springs and drive in Denver quite a bit. Thus, when I read this fine article, I felt proud that I have not gotten a speeding ticket since the fall of 2003, almost 4 years ago. Yeah me. And, by God's grace I hope this pattern continues.

Wednesday, June 06, 2007

New Bumper Stickers

Some titles include:
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR?

WOULD JESUS TORTURE?

TWO WRONGS DONT MAKE A WRONG, BUT THREE RIGHTS MAKE A LEFT

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Digging Deep in the Walmart Garden

So, about a week ago, I decide to go to Walmart and look at getting a plant. I am trying to make my small deck more about beauty and prayer. Part of the plan is adding some plants to my little outdoor space, so that the space can be a small personal worship and reflection space.

So I looked, and looked and looked. After wandering around Walmart for a while, I decided to sit with Jen in the rocking chairs in the garden department. After exchanging pleasantries about how nice it was outside, how good it smelled, etc. I started to think about owning a plant. I told Jen, "I am not sure I am ready for the commitment of owning a plant. Owning a plant is a big commitment. First you buy the plant, then you have to repot, buy pots, soil, and so much more. Its a big commitment if you are going to do it right."

There was laughter, then there was silence.

"So what does that say about me ever having kids if owning a plant is too big of commitment." I said.

"Exactly" Jen replied.

And then we both laughed really, really hard.

Then, I went and bought a couple of plants.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

On Religion by John Caputo

I picked up one of the books that was on my "order from the library", and it is a fun book to write. Written by the man who is the foremost interpreter of Derrida to America, Caputo here does some intelligent deconstructing of religion as a means of preserving the truth of the religious impulse. Very interesting and very accessable for a theology book.

Here are some quotes:

"Religion is for lovers"

"The opposite of a religious person is a loveless person" (he means this in a way that is meant to be inclusive of people from non-institutional religious structures).

"There is no merit in loving moderately" (4)

"Love is not a bargain, but an unconditional giving; it is not an investment, but a commitment come what may" (4)

"The religious sense of life is tied up with having a future"(9)

"Religion...is for the unhinged" (he means unhinged as a positive virtue)

"Religion on my telling is a pact or covenant with the impossible" (15)

I have been made a question unto myself (Augustine)

Non-Knowing is the inescapable element in which decisions are reached, which intensifies their passions (19)

The people of the impossible are also the impossible people (32).

Picture of the Garden of the Gods in the Morning

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Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Things like this always happen to me


So I am out golfing with Jen on Saturday (she won), and I was playing my best hole. I drove the first shot right in the short fringe on the edge of the fairway. I hit the second shot just below the green, and was about to attempt to pitch it up on to the green for a beautiful par.
All of the sudden I hear a golfer yell "FORE". They were close enough I stood up from my stance, looked up, and looked around a little. All of the sudden I hear a THUD as the golf ball hits my stomach. No bounce. No warning. A sizzling tee shot right in the gut!
It did not hurt too bad at first. I bent over because I was stunned and the blow seemed to half knock the wind out of me. Jen, who heard the thud from about 100 yards away ran over to see if I was ok. I said, quoting Chris Farley, "Well, I think that might leave a mark!"
The rest of my golf game fell apart, not so much because my body was in pain as my mental focus on doing anything was shot.
The bruise was about the size of my fist by Sunday morning, and has slowly grown to be a little bit larger than a softball.
Why do all the strange things like this still happen to me?

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Welcoming the Stranger

As anyone who has followed this blog over the years knows, I am a strong advocate of immigrant rights. Quite honestly, I favor amnesty for most of our immigrants pending an international criminal background check funded by the potential citizens. I especially favor this with Mexican immigrants, whose land I believe we stole at the same time we stole land from the Native Americans in the last century. I believe the Homeland Security issue involving immigration is often a red herring. I also believe that much of the protest against illegal immigration is tied with an implicit racism, and the threat of terrorism is more of a threat coming through Canada than it is coming through Mexico. If we are going to build a fence on the Mexican border, we should also build one around Detroit and Pontiac, MI, and along the Great Lakes Borders in Canada. (After all, this is how most of the 9-11 immigrants entered the US).

This implicit racism was in full view when I got home late Thursday night. As I watched MSNBC I heard Pat Buchanan yell at the immigration rights person to shut up on national television, and then heard him say that "This is the beginning of the end of America," and that Americans will pay the price of immigration in "increased crime and increased diseases" as people come streaming across the border to take over America. I got angry enough to change the channel to FOXNEWS to hear Bill O'Reilly quote that the US is now "less than 3/4 white" and losing ground every day. This made me more angry so I turned to the moderate CNN to hear the report cite the states that were going to be"minority majority" states by 2020--which included Hawaii (too many Asians and Islanders I guess), District of Columbia (its implied that there are too many blacks and we must be scared), New Mexico (can we see the word "Mexico" in the title of the state?), and California (which has large populations of all minority groups).

I will be honest. It is a struggle for me when I go to a fast food restaurant and people cannot speak English, and I am less likely to shop for a car in a small street corner lot when there is a banner bigger than their business sign saying "Se Habla Espagnol" with holes through it. However, I firmly believe that the immigration struggle in relation to Latin Americans in this century is as important of an American human rights issue as the Civil Rights movement was a couple of generations ago. Furthermore, the health of our economy is dependant upon foriegn workers that are willing to accept wages that are less that what most non-immigrants are willing to work for.

As far as the Word of God teaches us, we are commanded to welcome the stranger and the alien. We are called to defend the downtrodden and give voice to the voiceless. The Bible is clear, God is on the side of the underdog and the poor. So, as a Christian, as a human being, and as an American I can do nothing else but be thankful for immigration reform and hope the bill passes Congress very soon.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Starfish and Spider Reflections



If I could name one book that has challenged and transformed my thinking in the last 6 months, it would be the book The Starfish and the Spider. Written by two men in Southern California, it presents a detailed study of how organizations across the world are moving toward decentralization, and how decentralization is the "way of the future".

As one looks at the progress of history, one sees a slow progression away of hierarchy and centralized power. The Reformation destroyed the idea of one centralized religious power in the Western World, and began a domino effect of religious splinters which led to more and more local interpretation of mission and practice of one's faith. The rise of nation-states signaled that the same of political power, followed by the rise of democracy in the United States and France. The rise of the printing press decentralized knowledge of all kinds to the masses. As the communist USSR began to splinter, we began to see a reemergence of tribal culture in Europe unparalled since the Dark Ages.

With the advent of the internet, we have begun to see the acceleration of decentralization of organizations and institutions at an exponential rate. And, as a result, the way we do government, education, business, church, and much more will radically change.

Government
Nearly 8 years ago, George W. Bush ran for president as a "compassionate conservative". After 7 years, it became clear that he was neither.

This becomes especially evident as one looks at the size of government, and the expansion of government power under the Bush Administration. With the Patriot Act, the phone spying inititiative, the effort to build walls on our southern border, and more their has been a huge effort by the military to combat threats by centralizing power and government. In the long run, this is not going to work.

As a part of this centralizing power, we are attempting to fight a traditional war in Iraq in a context that is decentralized, postmodern (the Islamic fundamentalist version of it though), and tribal. Thus, although I believe our casualities are minimal considering other military ventures, we are failing to make progress, and come to any positive resolution. This is because terrorism operates like a starfish, and we are trying to kill it like we kill a spider.

The authors describe how spiders are much easier to eradicate than a starfish. A spider has a centralized nervous system and a centralized body structure. You cut off a spiders' leg, like a human it is without a leg forever. If you try and kill a starfish by cutting it into one or more pieces, that starfish will regenerate itself into multiple starfish. A starfish's DNA is decentralized, while a spider is centralized.

Thus, the terrorists tried to destroy the giant spider of America by attempting to attack the center of its power (the Pentagon (military), the World Trade Center (economic), and the White House/Capitol Building (seat of government). We have tried to cut the terrorist cells into all sorts of pieces, but like a starfish our attacking and cutting apart Islamic fundamentalist movement has only made terrorism more powerful and more of a threat.

Part of the challenge of the future is working to decentralize our government to a hybrid organization that is both nimble enough to function without centralized structure, yet stable enough to protect our safety and economy. It is a daunting task, and has us looking at a scarier future than we anticipate in relation to international conflict.

Education
Last night I was visiting with my mother about how education had changed during the last 20 years as a public school teacher. (What follows is my opinion, not hers) Part of the changes that my mother is dealing with is the centralization of standards of education, and how that centralization of controls leads to a centralization of political and economic power within our education system. Thus, teachers are often in a catch 22. Our therapeutic culture demands that teachers teach each student as an individual and cater to their individual needs, often because parents are either too busy or too neglectful to take the responsibility for their children's education than they did a generation ago. At the same time, the no child left behind initiative forces teachers to stifle their creativity and their initiative to care for individual in order to carry out orders to teach narrowly standardized curriculum, with narrow pedagogical techniques permitted, in order to get the schools to pass standardized tests. Furthermore, the standardization mandates certain curriculum publishers and systems, which means that educational administration is becoming more and more enmeshed with a big business culture.

This whole project is in many ways doomed for failure, unless it finds a way to mandate some basic standards, while at the same time decentralizing control. There is much more to say about this, but for now lets just say that in many ways NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND is failing and losing some of its best prospects because it is going the way of spider instead of the starfish.

Business
The book does a better job of explaining the business implications of the starfish and the spider than I ever could. It uses several examples of decentralized economic power through the internet. In particular, it cites the music industry as a spider organization grasping for power in a world full of music sharing and CD burning technology. And, the more powerfully the music industry tries to control music copyright, the more difficult an enemy they have to fight because the enemies become more numerous and adapt to copyright sanctions.

The book spends most of its time speaking about economic phenomena, and you really need to read the book to understand what they are saying fully. All in all though, it is better to think of our economic structures in the future as webs of relationships instead of ladders of coorperate power.

In a more sinister way, a lot of identity theft functions in "starfish" ways. By having loosely structured, decentralized, multinational organizations structured (now under the government protection of Iran) to steal credit card identities to obtain monies, identity theft is almost impossible to track and to defeat.

Church
For most of my ministerial career, I have served in a mainline denomination that bemoans people's lack of denominational loyalties, as well as former congregants lack of commitment to spiritual community in general. The reason, I believe, may be that we are trying to maintain "spider-like" churches in a starfish world.

It has always seemed interesting to me that churches can have amazing diversity of opinion on issues such as predestination/free will, homosexuality, modes of baptism, ways of interpreting scripture, types of music that are sung, and much more, but when it comes to tithing nearly all church leadership clings to a narrow, fundamental interpretation of primarily Old Testament biblical texts. Why? Although they want freedoms in several ways, they still want the centralized power and control of financial resources. (This result is not necessarily a bad thing in that it allows united mission and care of a congregation(s) when done ethically).

Also interesting is the search for the universally magic program and method. Your church may be struggling, pastors are told, but if you do a Purpose-Driven Life program your church will thrive just like Saddleback Church with its 20,000+ people a week in Southern California. Instead of the starfish-like method of having a missional approach of going out and forming networks of relationships, we look for a magic bullet that will have people come in. When the big programs work, like it has to a certain extent in our church, it is because the DNA of the church has been shared with more and more of the congregation, thus allowing it to grow and muliply itself in each persons life.

The "starfish and spider" way of looking at the world is why I see the future of many churches tied to shared leadership, the letting go of control from the top of church and faith-based organizations, and the development of healthy small groups within congregations.

I also think the way churches share Christ with others is dramatically affected by this transition in our world and global culture. This is best illustrated with my transition from a traditional small town in Montana to a suburban/city culture in a culture in Colorado saturated with evangelical Christianity.

The small town in Montana had centralized places where you could connect with a lot of people all at once. Whether it was school activities, or community functions, I could go to certain functions and make contact with 10 church families, visit with folks I did not know in a non-threatening way, and be a visible presence of God's grace to hundreds of people in a very short time.

Colorado is quite different. There are very few places where large amounts of students are both visible and are open to forming relationships. When there are a lot of youth gathered in one place, they are not as open to getting to know and build relationships with strange adults (Their are several good reasons for this...if you doubt me watch TO CATCH A PREDATOR on MSNBC). Ministry is essentially tribal here. This means if you get connected with a tribe of students, you have the possibility of having a ministry with that tribe of people.

When we grow at FBCCS, whether with youth or adults, it is because we have built a relationship with a person who is connected to a tribe or tribes of people. Also unique to Colorado Springs is the saturation of evangelical christianity, which muliplies the suspicion and animosity of people not connected with a spiritual community.

Even without that dynamic, we are challenged to look at doing more and more ministry in decentralized ways. This means less big box advertising and marketing, and more ministry like what my friend Ken is doing with Coffee Tunes. Coffee Tunes is creating an online meeting space on our church website for a community of people (coffee shop owners, performers, and customers) that did not exist in our community. We then plan to have a "best of" performance in our church once a month. By building relationships without playing the power games of mass marketing we may be able to make a big difference.

Ministry like Montana is more and more of an anachronism. Ministry like Colorado is more and more of the challenge that churches face in the future no matter where their location.

There is much more I could say on this...but this is already my longest post of all time.

A Quote for Today from Christian Reflections on the Leadership Challenge

Vision isnt everything, but it is the start of everything
David McAllister-Wilson

We often say, "Seeing is Believing". But the deeper truth is that believing is a certain way of seeing.
David McAllister-Wilson

Monday, May 14, 2007

You Know You are Grown when...

You know you are a kid when....you spend all weekend at the mall
You know you are grown when....you spend all weekend shopping houses

You know you are a kid when...you get excited about a trip to Denver
You know you are grown when...you dread running an errand across town

You know you are a kid when...going roller skating sounds like a good time
You know you are grown when...going to the roller skating rink makes you feel like a pedophile

You know you are a kid when...eating Mcdonalds twice in a week sounds exciting
You know you are grown when...you get excited about how much you saved cooking tuna helper.

You know you are a kid when....you hope oneday to have your own room
You know you are grown when...you hope oneday to move from the cubicle to an office of your own.

You know you are a kid when...a dog is a good friend
You know you are grown when...a dog is $50 more a month, plus a $250 deposit

What other ones of these can you think of? I would love to hear them!
You know you are grown when...

Quote of the Day

When the wonder has gone out of a man, he is dead--
DH Lawrence

Book Lust

Occasionally, instead of buying all the books I want, I simply make lists of books I want, and then try ways to get a hold of them through the library. Sometimes, I have discovered I really dont want to read the book as much as I want to have it with me to open, to touch, to smell, to hold, and to skim. After a brief fling with the said book, I no longer have any interest in her anymore. Making my lists of books is my way of controlling my book lust. Unfortunately, much like a drunk going to a bar and trying to say they are in recovery, I seem to always find myself in a bookstore moaning and holding my newest book interest next to me.

Here are a couple of books that caught my eye. If they sound interesting to you use the search engine on the right to order the book and give me a little kickback.

THE LIST

John Calvin--On Prayer
Richard Rohr--Everything Belongs
Bob Roberts Jr.--Glocalization
The Spirit of Silence
Judiasm and Justic
Reel Spirituality
The Next Christendom*-Jenkins
Jesus and Buddha--parallel sayings
Front Porch--Myers
Organic Community--Myers
Remarriage After Divorce in Today's Church
Seek and You Will Find--Taize Community
Leading with a Limp--Allender
Listening to the Beliefs of the Emerging Church
Evangelism after Christendom
Dream Talk--Wilson
Soul Graffiti--Scandrette
Simplicity, The Freedom of Letting Go
The Speed of Trust--Covey
Happiness Myth
The Leadership Challenge
Mind the Light--Bill
Encounter the Other--Vanier
Sharing Sacred Stories
Peril in Paradise
Body Language--Pease
The Orgin of Satan--Pagels
A Peculiar People
Queen Bees and WannaBees--Wiseman
Importance of Being Foolish--Manning
Banker to the Poor--Yunnus
Offices Series...Tickle
Metamorpha--Strobel
The Questions of Jesus--John Dear

Board Games
Smart Ass
Argue
Electronic Guestures
Would You Rather
Stratego
Axis and Allies
Battleship

Posters
Einstein quotes
Jesus Rocks

Did you know there is a board game called:
The Journeys of Paul: A Historical Strategy Game?

Food Flavored Clothing

Instead of limiting my clothing choices to Casual Male Big and Tall, I have been looking at the King Size Catalog for clothes. There are a lot more choices in the catalog, and I like that. But one thing keeps bothering me. Why do they feel that naming the color of clothes after foods will encourage fat men to buy more product? In the catalogue the green color is celery, the yellow color is butter, a certain red color is called rasberry, another pinkish red color is called melon, a brown color is called honey, and another red color is called tabasco. Do they think fat men are more likely to order their product if they name it after grub?

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Changing Thoughts on Evangelism

I have been thinking a little about evangelism lately, and the way people come to faith in the circles that I work in. When it comes to life issues where life and death are directly confronted, there are still a lot of people who chose to trust Christ because they "want to go to heaven".

More and more though, I notice that the appeal to avoid hell in order to come to faith has less and less appeal to people. When I see others talk to people about faith in that way...in terms of eternal destiny....I can see in their eyes they are already beginning to check out.

What seems to speak to people, from my experience, is a faith that works. A faith that makes sense in day to day living.

Why is this? I think this is in part because we live in a culture of immediacy. A culture that values what makes sense now, and what works now, not on something hypothetical in another dimension or something.

More about this later...I am just thinking outloud

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Anniversary


For those of you who have been longtime subscribers of this blog, perhaps you have noticed my lack of bemoaning my single state the last year or so. You may have also noticed my waning regularity for posting blogs. There is a reason for that. Jen (jecaad in the comments under the last post) and I had our first date on May 12, 2006. That makes this Saturday the one year anniversary of our first date. My life has been much fuller, and much more joyful in the last year, despite many of the same problems in other parts of my life. One year is my longest term relationship


For those of you who dont know anything about her, she has a poetry/photo blog in my blogroll, where she combines her poetry with her beautiful pictures to make some wonderful art.


During the last year she has had to endure my indecisiveness, my heightened sense of drama (I call that "flare"), my fumbling attempts at communicating, and has somehow decided that I am still a little bit interesting. In the process I have grown a lot, and become completely smitten.




My look alikes

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

What American accent do you have?
Your Result: The Midland

"You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.

The West
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have?
Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Women in Christianity

A beautiful video that simultaneously celebrates the many things that women offer to us as ministers, and a chronicles the many ways women have been oppressed by people abusing their power in the church to push their mysogenistic agenda.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Road Trip Restrooms

One of the adventures of being on a roadtrip are the restroom adventures you have on the trips you are on. On my most recent road trip we had plenty of adventures.

Despite my disparaging remarks about Texas landscaping, I must admit the Texas/Oklahoma border has the most wonderful bathroom on planet earth. As one enters the Lone Star State, one discovers that instead of a typical rest stop, Texas has the Taj Majal of potties for its newly discovered travellers. The whole trip, in order to avoid my typical travel sickness, I chose to treat myself to plenty of fluids (especially water). So, as I entered taj majal toilets incorperated I rushed to the restroom. To my shock, the whole room shined and was beautifully lit. You could see your reflection in the freshly mopped floors, and the stools were sparkling clean. In four days of travel I only sat down in one public restroom, and this was it. It was almost fresh and beautiful and clean enough of a restroom that I would have felt comfortable eating a meal inside of it (I said almost, Sarah).

On the way to the restroom, there was an air-conditioned theater room with the weather channel on television and room for nearly 30 people. The other side of the room was a travellers bonanza, with maps and details about every public park, free state maps (which we needed) and tourist guides.

The rest of the restrooms on the trip were less impressive. There was one restroom in Oklahoma that had napkins from the truck stop deli for TP, and where I had to stand on one leg because someone urinated on the floor.

There was another restroom where a man strove to strike up a conversation with me and I had never met him. He chose to start this conversation while I was using the toilet.For those of you who are non-male, in man world this is a major faux pax. This behavior stirs up nearly every homophobic instinct in a healthy heterosexual man's heart, especially in truck stop restroom in Oklahoma where every other customer reminds you of someone from the movie Deliverance.

Other than the Texas rest stop, the most pleasant restrooms were in new Shell stations along the road (Edmond, OK).

What are your experiences with public restrooms? What phobias do you have? What unique ideosyncrecies do you have in dealing with public restroom issues?

Reformation Commentary of the Bible: Old Testament Volume XIII--Psalms 73-150

Reformation Commentary of the Bible: Old Testament Volume XIII--Psalms 73-150  Edited by Herman J. Selderhuis IVP Academic ISBN 978-0-8308-2...