Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Incredible Shrinking Tuck---Growing Up as the Fat Kid

I have never been small, although I have been thinner. Though, I would not know that from what people have told me.

I broke the 100 pound barrier somewhere between 3rd and 4th grade. The two hundred barrier between 8th and 9th grade. And the.....well that is nont of your business.

I have always been picked on for being fat, even when in retrospect I was not. And as far as I can tell, this criticism has only made me heavier.

Since I was young, I have always been difficult to buy clothes for. My grandma yelled at me that I was just like my mother and impossible to buy clothes for because of my size, nevermind that her, my grandfather, and my father were all bigger than momma ever thought of being. (Aint that right mom!)That was in like second or third grade.

As a child I was hit, and then people ran away from me because they knew I was not fast enough to catch them.

My level of fitness and fatness depended upon my athletic activity. No athletic activity. Soft Friar. Lots of sports. Fit friar. No athletic activity. Depressed Friar. Lots of athletic activity. Happy Friar.

Transitions have never been good for my weight either. Parents divorce--Gain weight. Move schools--Gain weight. Change schools--gain weight. Move from school to work--gain weight. Move jobs--while this job so far I am down from when I started here. I moved once in first grade, once in fourth grade, and twice in ninth grade. All bad, bad years.

Once in middle school, the difficulties got worse. The coach refused to issue me a belt in eighth grade football. So, I tripped and my pants fell down in the middle of a game. The girls played this game with me where they would pretend to like me until I believed them, and then mocked me for believing that anyone would EVER like someone like me. I got de-pantsed at least once a week.

My saving grace in the middle of all this was my senior year in high school. I was easily the fittest I had been in my entire life, running 5 miles and day and lifting weights before wrestling practice. I was Male Athlete of the Year for my school. And socially I was admired because I hadn't played the popularity game to become popular, I had just become a person everyone liked and could get along with. And, where many of my coaches put me down because of my size, I had one coach who believed in me. I ended up third in state in wrestling, and captain of my football and wrestling teams. No girlfriend though. There's not a woman I cannot scare!

As a child, and even as an adult, people have always tried to make me feel like I was less than because I am bigger. I am now in my early 30s, and finally at a point where I dont necessarily like the way I look, but I can live with it and accept it for the most part. Even if others cannot.

7 comments:

Miz Peg said...

When will people ever learn that it is what is in our hearts and not the way we look that really matters. God Bless

.: raven :. said...

unfortunately, people will always be judged by weight. as if being thin makes you more intelligent.

i have struggled all my life with weight as well ... and now i can't accept the way i am ... it bothers me ...

it's a tough road. i'm glad that you have come to accept yourself ... that is so important. forget everyone else.

Don Tate II said...

Its good you got to where you could accept yourself as you are. I had trouble gaining and tried everything to gain weight. That weight finally came around 30 or so, now I'm battling to keep it off my stomach.

Michele said...

Thanks for hanging it all out there. Really great read. I do agree with the more critism, the bigger the problem becomes - literally. Kids can be so cruel...and then so can we adults. Good reminder to look at the heart, no matter the age or the size.

Kim Traynor said...

Thanks for sharing this, Clint! My brother has struggled with his weight since he was only 6 or 7, and the effects on his life have been tremendous. By highschool he was getting so much crap from kids that he decided to drop out. Obesity causes depression, back and leg pain, fatigue, etc. - but instead of the concern and sympathy these symptoms usually elicit in people, obesity tends to bring only ridicule and exclusion.

Brea said...

Your story is very painful. Thanks for sharing.

I'd like to think that adults would better be able to look at the person inside. I guess I'm wrong?

Friar Tuck said...

Yes...someday I will post about my work situation.