The Pessimist in the Shadows

With the exception of a little better compensation at work, my life could not be much better.

Work has been going tremendously well. I feel like I have as deep a relationship with some of my middle school girls as I have had with any middle school girls in all of my ministry. We have plans to go to the gym together all summer. We have secret waves going on. I hear all about the news on which boy is hot, and which boy is a certain gals current crush. Last week one of the students said after youth activities on Saturday and Sunday of last week as we were cleaning the floor after youth group, "This was the best weekend of my life!"

My boss is elevating me into positions of greater influence. I am leading a small group of pastors discussing how we will respond to issues facing our denomination in our national meeting in July. I am baptizing one of the children in June. I am preaching as much in the last five months as I did in the last 14 months.

For the first time in my life, the scale seems to be heading on the downward direction. Clothes are fitting looser. I seem to have a lot more stamina and energy for my life in general.

I had the courage to send flowers to someone I had romantic interest in for quite a while. And, she responded favorably. Especially considering all the possibilities that were running through my head.

So, what is this sense that I am due for something bad to happen to ruin everything? Why can't I just trust that I deserve to be happy for a while? Why can't I accept that things are going good at face value, without constantly listening to the pessimist in the shadows?

Last night we talked about how faith was trust, and it was essential that we learn to trust God. Yet, when things are good, why don't I trust that God is good?

"I have come that they may have and enjoy life, and have it to an abundance"
John 10:10--Amplified Bible