Lots of drama at my apartment building in the last week, including some bisexual love quadralateral. Let me explain.
The neighbors downstairs moved out. The woman living downstairs is named Tina, and it took me several weeks to figure out if she was male or female. She is a lesbian, which is advertised by the rainbow flag hanging in the window.
Her and her roomie (gay male??--rainbow bracelets on hand) moved in around July. The became drinking buddies with the guy across the hall from me and his girlfriend.
So, the girlfriend told the neighbor downstairs that she was not really dating the guy upstairs, and that she was a lesbian, and he was trying to convince her to change her sexual orientation. So GF and Tina started fooling around. Also GF has a long time relationship with her roomie--who is also a woman. We will call her OW (other woman).
So, BF across the hall finds out that GF has been fooling around with Tina. So he starts visiting Tina and GF at work several times during the day. And yelling at Tina and roomie. And peeking in her ground level floor windows.
So they decide to move to another apartment in the complex. BF gets angry. Scares the folks moving. They call the police. And of course, this is the same time that I am getting home. Police are entering the apartment across the breezeway. GF says she is not sleeping with lesbian downstairs. Then Tina figures out that GF is really the problem, and manipulating everyone involved. DUH! So she goes into the details with me as I am heading back to the car to get out of DODGE until things have calmed down, "How could I have not been having sex with her if roomie had to turn up music to annoy whole complex because the noise of us having sex was too loud!" Policeman told her this was too much info for him moments earlier.
So I left. Dropped off mail. Sat in GROCERY WAREHOUSE parking lot for about a half hour and listened to the radio. Somehow GROCERY WAREHOUSE seemed a little less Jerry Springer last night, which as Sarah will tell you, and those CO people will know, is kinda saying a lot about our apartment complex drama.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
Random Facts: Sex Offender Registrations and Accountability
Resistered Sex Offenders in US: 500,000
US Sex Offenders who are currently unaccounted for: 100,000
US Sex Offenders who are currently unaccounted for: 100,000
Random Facts: Increase in juvinile arrests for assault
From 1980 to 2003
Boys: up 13 percent
Girls: up 96 percent
Boys: up 13 percent
Girls: up 96 percent
Random Facts: Cohabitation Habits of Unmarried Couples
1960: .44 million couples
1970: .52 million
1980: 1.6 million
2000: 2.9 million
2002: 4.7 million
2004: 5.08 million
(personally I think all these numbers are on the low end but....)
Source: USA TODAY July 22
1970: .52 million
1980: 1.6 million
2000: 2.9 million
2002: 4.7 million
2004: 5.08 million
(personally I think all these numbers are on the low end but....)
Source: USA TODAY July 22
Random Facts: Tops in Cereal Sales
Cheerios: 100.4 million packages
Honey Bunches of Oats: 82.2m
Fruit Loops: 57.3m
Frosted Flakes: 89.8m
Honey Nut Cheerios: 76.6m
Honey Bunches of Oats: 82.2m
Fruit Loops: 57.3m
Frosted Flakes: 89.8m
Honey Nut Cheerios: 76.6m
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
A Quickie quote
It is not God's will that we should remain in need. He would fulfill all our needs by delivering us from all possesions and giving us himself in exchange. If we would belong to His love, we must remain always empty of everything else, not in order to be in need, but precisely because possesions make us needy.
Thomas Merton
No Man is an Island
Thomas Merton
No Man is an Island
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Transformation Genesis
When I was in seminary I used to take the opportunities I had to interview with ministers in charge of placement within my denomination, even in my first year in school. I thought that it was a good oppotunity to build relationships and develop my networking skills. I interviewes with several people. I only remember two people I took the time to talk to though.
One was the woman who facilitated my placement to my first church out of seminary. She was thoughtful, compassionate, and intelligent, and I sniffling and coughing like crazy and had such a headache I don't remember a thing I said. I just remember that Patti was the only denominational executive that grabbed my cold-infested hand to pray with me at the end of any interview of that type, and I thought "That is a woman who knows Jesus!"
The other interview that I remember was with a man who listened to all of my idealistic blather about how I wanted to be a change agent instead of a maintenence worker in a church, and then responded, "For every change you ask a church to make, you need to be willing to make a change in yourself." He later told me what he meant was that real, authentic change is as difficult for pastors as it is for churches, and that I need to be prepared for this difficulty if that was the direction for my life. What I heard at the time was more pointed and challenging to me. I heard, "If you are going to ask people to grow and change, you need to be humble and vulnerable enough to grow and to change as well." And, being in my first year in my first church, it really challenged me to look at who I was called by God to be a lot differently. I realized that if I was asking people and churches to grow and transform, I better be willing to be challenged, humbled, and transformed as well.
The truth is that the book is very honest about how their church leaders needed to grow and change in ministry. Paul needed to learn to be a little more diplomatic, and had problems working and playing well with others at times. Peter had to have got intervene supernaturally before he would get over his prejudices, and then he still had problems. John Mark had to learn to face his fears and insecurities as a leader. Even Jesus needed to "grow in wisdom", and he was PERFECT!!!!
Yet the temptation of Christian leaders today is to act and think like they have all of the answers all of the time. And people in churches tend to desire this characteristic in their leaders.
This is dangerous. It is dangerous for churches and people in churches because they feel like spirituality is at best like therapy and as worse like some spiritual Amway plan. It is a scary, sad place for pastors to be as well.
Why is it that dangerous for us as Christian leaders to think that we have all the answers? First of all, because it isolates us. When we think that churches or even other Christian leaders need to change more than we do we set ourselves on a pedestal. There is only room for one on a pedastal. And when we are isolated from in some sense being peers with some in the congregation or other pastors, then we can lack the accountability we need. And we have seen over and over again on the news and in our own churches what possibilities for destruction that a perfect storm of isolation, arrogance, and a lack of accountability can bring.
MORE ON THIS LATER
One was the woman who facilitated my placement to my first church out of seminary. She was thoughtful, compassionate, and intelligent, and I sniffling and coughing like crazy and had such a headache I don't remember a thing I said. I just remember that Patti was the only denominational executive that grabbed my cold-infested hand to pray with me at the end of any interview of that type, and I thought "That is a woman who knows Jesus!"
The other interview that I remember was with a man who listened to all of my idealistic blather about how I wanted to be a change agent instead of a maintenence worker in a church, and then responded, "For every change you ask a church to make, you need to be willing to make a change in yourself." He later told me what he meant was that real, authentic change is as difficult for pastors as it is for churches, and that I need to be prepared for this difficulty if that was the direction for my life. What I heard at the time was more pointed and challenging to me. I heard, "If you are going to ask people to grow and change, you need to be humble and vulnerable enough to grow and to change as well." And, being in my first year in my first church, it really challenged me to look at who I was called by God to be a lot differently. I realized that if I was asking people and churches to grow and transform, I better be willing to be challenged, humbled, and transformed as well.
The truth is that the book is very honest about how their church leaders needed to grow and change in ministry. Paul needed to learn to be a little more diplomatic, and had problems working and playing well with others at times. Peter had to have got intervene supernaturally before he would get over his prejudices, and then he still had problems. John Mark had to learn to face his fears and insecurities as a leader. Even Jesus needed to "grow in wisdom", and he was PERFECT!!!!
Yet the temptation of Christian leaders today is to act and think like they have all of the answers all of the time. And people in churches tend to desire this characteristic in their leaders.
This is dangerous. It is dangerous for churches and people in churches because they feel like spirituality is at best like therapy and as worse like some spiritual Amway plan. It is a scary, sad place for pastors to be as well.
Why is it that dangerous for us as Christian leaders to think that we have all the answers? First of all, because it isolates us. When we think that churches or even other Christian leaders need to change more than we do we set ourselves on a pedestal. There is only room for one on a pedastal. And when we are isolated from in some sense being peers with some in the congregation or other pastors, then we can lack the accountability we need. And we have seen over and over again on the news and in our own churches what possibilities for destruction that a perfect storm of isolation, arrogance, and a lack of accountability can bring.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Marketing and Faith: Do they Mix?
I have graciously been given this book by the author. Part of my way thanking him for the book is by reviewing parts of the book on this blog.
One of the interesting comments in the book so far was his discussion of marketing and faith. He was talking about how people who market aren't trying to manipulate people when they try and sell them something. In truth, "Marketing is about confirming choices and providing options."
A lot of people who are in churches are big on church marketing. So they talk about making the church more visible or attractive. Much of evangelistic and church growth strategy is based on marketing your church well, according to many of the experts, so that people will want to come and attend your church. The sad thing is, if this person is correct, when we market our churches we are preaching to the choir of the committed. Thus, most of our preaching in our churches is about pastors comforting people with truths they already agree with. And thus most of our churches are about confirmation of previously held beliefs instead of spiritual transformation. How sad!
If we are about marketing our church we are not at all about reaching newcomers, but about building loyalty from our base and stealing customers from our competitors. So then, true church growth is much harder than simply marketing.
It also means that preaching and church worship are effective at recruiting the interested, but that we cannot depend on these central parts of the life of our church to evangelize anyone but those who are already pretty close to commiting their lives to Christ anyway.
Redoing an old post: Eros and Faith from December 2004
WARNING: THIS CONTAINS SOME ADULT ISSUES IN DISCUSSION OF CHRISTIAN FAITH. NOT FOR THE PRIM AND PROPER READER
My friend Dan is a throwback of sorts. He loves hymns and the King James Version of Scripture. Recently he has become more open to praise music, but still dislikes a number of the praise songs that are out there. In particular, we were discussing the semi-erotic language of several praise songs. For instance the Hillsongs song Here I am says in part,
"All you are is all I desire. Your gentle touch helps me survive."
Dan specifically sights the song This is the Air I Breathe which says, "I'm desparate for you, I'm lost without you."
(I can understand a distaste for this song, both because of its overplay, and because it sounds oddly reminiscent of a Celine Dion song.)
Strangely enough, as I pointed out to him, his favorite hymn is Come Thou Fount which says in part, "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the one I love, Take my heart, O take and seal it..." Also there is a lot of semi-erotic imagery about God throughout the Christian tradition, and even in Scripture. Read Psalm 63 for instance. And although this my sound controversial, even the work of the Holy Spirit is referred to in similar language (i.e. having your hard heart penetrated and filled by the Holy Spirit).
Well, I shared a number of examples with Dan, and I understand where he is coming from. I have similar dislikes, although for me it does not have to do with singing as much as it has to do with the nature of Charasmatic/Pentecostal worship. Much of this type of worship, like primal tribal worship of elemental forces, is based upon human sexual rhythms, where there is a period of foreplay, the praise songs are designed to stimluate you until you suddenly break out in an orgasm of manifestations of the Holy Spirit--most notably through speaking in tongues. Then there is usually a little bit of "pillow talk", followed by a pastor working up the congregration into another more powerful ejaculation of praise.
Then I read Kenda Creasy Dean's Practicing Passion, or Sally McFague's Models of God and I think the erotic imagery makes sense in some way. Even John Donne in the Holy Sonnets asks God to "ravage" him. And what about the Christian mystics and their observations and experiences?
As for my friend Dan, I think it is a more literal thing. And a boundaries thing. I understand where he is coming from. We have had enough Christian leaders that have used the power of faith to fullfill erotic needs. And, the pictures of Jesus with the little lamb over his shoulder do not get me sexually aroused either. But for me, as a single person, it is a little broader than that.
For my faith to be strong and healthy, I need to be passionate about it. I need to "long" for the "touch" of Jesus in my life. I want my relationship with God to be more and more intimate. I need God to be a part of all of my life, even those parts that I keep from everyone else because they seem so private and personal.
As for God's part of the relationship toward me...a lot of time God seems like a celestial stalker. So in love with me that he pursues me and will not let me go. Sometimes even when I want to run away from Him he follows me. He loves me so much he keeps count of the numbers of hairs on my head. God woos me like he wooed the woman at the well to faith (with semi-erotic language I might add.).
What is the issue then with eros and love? I think it is if it ends there. If all our spirituality is about is "getting off" on Jesus, then it is a very shallow faith. I think that is where my struggle with a Charasmatic/Pentecostal model of worship that I criticized earlier. It is often so self-centered and experiencially focused in my experience that the experience of worship becomes an end in itself instead of loving God and loving neighbor.
My other issue with the erotic imagery is that it can get people focused on individual faith at the expense of community life. There is already too much of that going on--especially in the church. If our faith gets too centered on personal wants and needs, it becomes almost auto-erotic--and coorperate worship becomes not much more than mutual masterbation. Then no new life comes and mission dies.
Much more can be said on this issue but that is enough for now.....
My friend Dan is a throwback of sorts. He loves hymns and the King James Version of Scripture. Recently he has become more open to praise music, but still dislikes a number of the praise songs that are out there. In particular, we were discussing the semi-erotic language of several praise songs. For instance the Hillsongs song Here I am says in part,
"All you are is all I desire. Your gentle touch helps me survive."
Dan specifically sights the song This is the Air I Breathe which says, "I'm desparate for you, I'm lost without you."
(I can understand a distaste for this song, both because of its overplay, and because it sounds oddly reminiscent of a Celine Dion song.)
Strangely enough, as I pointed out to him, his favorite hymn is Come Thou Fount which says in part, "Prone to wander, Lord I feel it, prone to leave the one I love, Take my heart, O take and seal it..." Also there is a lot of semi-erotic imagery about God throughout the Christian tradition, and even in Scripture. Read Psalm 63 for instance. And although this my sound controversial, even the work of the Holy Spirit is referred to in similar language (i.e. having your hard heart penetrated and filled by the Holy Spirit).
Well, I shared a number of examples with Dan, and I understand where he is coming from. I have similar dislikes, although for me it does not have to do with singing as much as it has to do with the nature of Charasmatic/Pentecostal worship. Much of this type of worship, like primal tribal worship of elemental forces, is based upon human sexual rhythms, where there is a period of foreplay, the praise songs are designed to stimluate you until you suddenly break out in an orgasm of manifestations of the Holy Spirit--most notably through speaking in tongues. Then there is usually a little bit of "pillow talk", followed by a pastor working up the congregration into another more powerful ejaculation of praise.
Then I read Kenda Creasy Dean's Practicing Passion, or Sally McFague's Models of God and I think the erotic imagery makes sense in some way. Even John Donne in the Holy Sonnets asks God to "ravage" him. And what about the Christian mystics and their observations and experiences?
As for my friend Dan, I think it is a more literal thing. And a boundaries thing. I understand where he is coming from. We have had enough Christian leaders that have used the power of faith to fullfill erotic needs. And, the pictures of Jesus with the little lamb over his shoulder do not get me sexually aroused either. But for me, as a single person, it is a little broader than that.
For my faith to be strong and healthy, I need to be passionate about it. I need to "long" for the "touch" of Jesus in my life. I want my relationship with God to be more and more intimate. I need God to be a part of all of my life, even those parts that I keep from everyone else because they seem so private and personal.
As for God's part of the relationship toward me...a lot of time God seems like a celestial stalker. So in love with me that he pursues me and will not let me go. Sometimes even when I want to run away from Him he follows me. He loves me so much he keeps count of the numbers of hairs on my head. God woos me like he wooed the woman at the well to faith (with semi-erotic language I might add.).
What is the issue then with eros and love? I think it is if it ends there. If all our spirituality is about is "getting off" on Jesus, then it is a very shallow faith. I think that is where my struggle with a Charasmatic/Pentecostal model of worship that I criticized earlier. It is often so self-centered and experiencially focused in my experience that the experience of worship becomes an end in itself instead of loving God and loving neighbor.
My other issue with the erotic imagery is that it can get people focused on individual faith at the expense of community life. There is already too much of that going on--especially in the church. If our faith gets too centered on personal wants and needs, it becomes almost auto-erotic--and coorperate worship becomes not much more than mutual masterbation. Then no new life comes and mission dies.
Much more can be said on this issue but that is enough for now.....
My learning curve
I had to give myself a pat on the back today. I came to the conclusion that I have been very teachable in the last year. Here are some of the personal learning projects I have taken on in the last year.
Digital photography
Blogging and understanding blogger (now have folks asking ME for advice on how it works!)
Learning to eat healthier
Coming to understand and embrace the things a eliptical trainer can do for me
Learning to dress more professionally
Learning Powerpoint and creating powerpoint projects
Leading a group at VBS
Doing a junior camp (grades 3-5)--I had never done anything but youth camps before this year
Bleaching one's hair 101
Got my first cell phone and learned how to program it
Learned how to negotiate auctions on EBAY
Officiated my first wedding in 5 years
Leading the creation of a second service at our church
Learned not to send flowers to someone's workplace as a surprise
Taught an all-women's adult Sunday School class for the first time
I always encourage others to be teachable. It is good to see that at least in some small ways in the last year I have practiced what I preach.
Digital photography
Blogging and understanding blogger (now have folks asking ME for advice on how it works!)
Learning to eat healthier
Coming to understand and embrace the things a eliptical trainer can do for me
Learning to dress more professionally
Learning Powerpoint and creating powerpoint projects
Leading a group at VBS
Doing a junior camp (grades 3-5)--I had never done anything but youth camps before this year
Bleaching one's hair 101
Got my first cell phone and learned how to program it
Learned how to negotiate auctions on EBAY
Officiated my first wedding in 5 years
Leading the creation of a second service at our church
Learned not to send flowers to someone's workplace as a surprise
Taught an all-women's adult Sunday School class for the first time
I always encourage others to be teachable. It is good to see that at least in some small ways in the last year I have practiced what I preach.
Some quotes for Today
There is more to life than increasing its speed--
Ghandi
Good prose cannot be written by a people without convictions--
T.S. Eliot
Annihilation itself is no death to evil. Only good where evil was, is evil dead. An evil thing must live with its evil until it chooses to be good. That alone is the slaying of evil.
George McDonald
Ghandi
Good prose cannot be written by a people without convictions--
T.S. Eliot
Annihilation itself is no death to evil. Only good where evil was, is evil dead. An evil thing must live with its evil until it chooses to be good. That alone is the slaying of evil.
George McDonald
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Some quotes from September 2005 Christianity Today
ON FRIENDSHIP....
God is our chief friend--Thomas Aquinas
In every generation (wisdom) passes into holy souls and makes them friends of God and prophets--Wisdom of Solomon 7:27b
Friendship is realized by sharing a table--Elisabeth Moltmann-Wendel
An enemy is a friend wating to be made, that is the only hope for this conflict ridden world--Desmond Tutu
ON SUFFERING--
God weeps with us so that we may someday laugh with him--Jurgen Moltmann
Easter is the beginning of the laughter of the redeemed...God's protest against death--Jurgen Moltmann
FROM THE NEWS--
They have been so nice. I would hate to break it to them that I really prefer Neitzche to the Bible--Eric Rudolph in response to "good people, mostly born again Christians looking to save my soul"
Terrorism is irrational. There is no clash of civilizations, only small groups of fanatics. So the dialogue between religions which have Abraham as a father is important. We must ask God to reinforce this...and hope that it will be much stronger than violence.--The Pope
God is our chief friend--Thomas Aquinas
In every generation (wisdom) passes into holy souls and makes them friends of God and prophets--Wisdom of Solomon 7:27b
Friendship is realized by sharing a table--Elisabeth Moltmann-Wendel
An enemy is a friend wating to be made, that is the only hope for this conflict ridden world--Desmond Tutu
ON SUFFERING--
God weeps with us so that we may someday laugh with him--Jurgen Moltmann
Easter is the beginning of the laughter of the redeemed...God's protest against death--Jurgen Moltmann
FROM THE NEWS--
They have been so nice. I would hate to break it to them that I really prefer Neitzche to the Bible--Eric Rudolph in response to "good people, mostly born again Christians looking to save my soul"
Terrorism is irrational. There is no clash of civilizations, only small groups of fanatics. So the dialogue between religions which have Abraham as a father is important. We must ask God to reinforce this...and hope that it will be much stronger than violence.--The Pope
The 40 year old virgin and me
Ok I saw the 40-year old virgin movie. It was both funny and depressing.
Is it worth going to in the theatres? I guess it depends who you go with. It is like a strange mix of Dumb and Dumber meets a romantic comedy.
In the course of the movie I noticed that my action figures that I own have been increasing since my 30th birthday. (The forty year old virgin has a huge collection of action figures.)
On my previous post you saw my Jesus action figures. I just purchased a Friar Tuck action figure, and I have a HULA HOMER and a talking Homer dashboard doll as well. Both also speak!
Part of me enjoys these toys, and part of me looks at the movie and starts to feel a little weird about them. Should I?
At least I have a car!
Is it worth going to in the theatres? I guess it depends who you go with. It is like a strange mix of Dumb and Dumber meets a romantic comedy.
In the course of the movie I noticed that my action figures that I own have been increasing since my 30th birthday. (The forty year old virgin has a huge collection of action figures.)
On my previous post you saw my Jesus action figures. I just purchased a Friar Tuck action figure, and I have a HULA HOMER and a talking Homer dashboard doll as well. Both also speak!
Part of me enjoys these toys, and part of me looks at the movie and starts to feel a little weird about them. Should I?
At least I have a car!
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Inspirational Quotes
From the Emerging Sideways blog:
Many things can wait.
Children cannot.
Today their bones are being formed,
their blood is being made,
their senses are being developed.
To them we cannot say “tomorrow.”
Their name is today.
Gabriela Mistral
And from my Great-Grandmother's obituary:
Life Means Living
It is a false belief that life necessarily wears itself out as the years go by. Life means living, in so long as we live with our eyes open toward the future, with ours ears attuned to catch the melody of the present day, with our hands eager for the new tasks, with our feet impatient for the unexplored path before us, we shall not grow old; but we shall remain young in heart and mind and spirit, which, after all, are our real selves.
Many things can wait.
Children cannot.
Today their bones are being formed,
their blood is being made,
their senses are being developed.
To them we cannot say “tomorrow.”
Their name is today.
Gabriela Mistral
And from my Great-Grandmother's obituary:
Life Means Living
It is a false belief that life necessarily wears itself out as the years go by. Life means living, in so long as we live with our eyes open toward the future, with ours ears attuned to catch the melody of the present day, with our hands eager for the new tasks, with our feet impatient for the unexplored path before us, we shall not grow old; but we shall remain young in heart and mind and spirit, which, after all, are our real selves.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
What its all about
It is easy to get off track in our Christian faith. And it just as easy to get off track being a young "friar" as it is as a housewife or a student or a construction worker or any other occupation.
One of the reasons it is easy to get off track is that we often mistake following Jesus for a phalanx of other meritorious ideas.
Here are some of the most common pitfalls:
Pitfall #1
Following Jesus is about being involved in Christian activities.
The truth:
Being involved in Christian activities may be a good thing in your spiritual growth, but it may be a hindrance. If Christian activities is a well-veiled crutch to keep you from dealing with issues with your family, your work, or your friends you may need to cut back on them.
Pitfall #2 Following Jesus is about feeling good.
The truth:
If you are following Jesus with all your heart, you will probably come to the point where you have to deal with real core issues in your life. As a matter of fact, you may consistently return to this point as different issues come up. And dealing with destructive habits, deep hurts, and growing through them is a painful, not so good feeling process at times. The gospel is about forgiving and loving enemies, reconciliation, and healing. It is not always easy, but it is more worth it than you will ever know.
Pitfall #3
Following Jesus is about having the right ideas
The truth: In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the guy had his theology all wrong but his heart was in the right place with God and his neighbor, and that is what matters. A lot of people in Christian churches believe that being a Christian is about defending the faith against bad ideas, instead of commending the faith through living the truth of the Good News of Jesus Christ. I find it easy to sometimes hold firm to the truth, but in a way that makes me look like a total a**. When I do this, I think I miss the point.
Pitfall #4
Following Jesus is about being with all the right people.
The truth:
Following Jesus is about bearing with people when they are a pain in the a**. Look at the Corinthian church. Does this church look like a model of church health? Heck no! Even the Philippian church in the New Testament had divisive people and potential church splits happening. The church needs to be full of difficult people who are committed to growing and learning to be more like Jesus, warts and all.
What is the gospel all about then? It is about becoming fully human. And it is about doing that through growing in knowledge of and love for our Creator. It is about joining his mission to build bridges of love to the world through surrendering ourselves to him and making ourselves his vessel of new hope, new life, and new love.
So we all must come back and ask ourselves...am I becoming more loving? am I becoming more forgiving and compassionate? am I becoming more bold in embracing that God's love and overflowing with love to others? If not we might want to go back to square one.
One of the reasons it is easy to get off track is that we often mistake following Jesus for a phalanx of other meritorious ideas.
Here are some of the most common pitfalls:
Pitfall #1
Following Jesus is about being involved in Christian activities.
The truth:
Being involved in Christian activities may be a good thing in your spiritual growth, but it may be a hindrance. If Christian activities is a well-veiled crutch to keep you from dealing with issues with your family, your work, or your friends you may need to cut back on them.
Pitfall #2 Following Jesus is about feeling good.
The truth:
If you are following Jesus with all your heart, you will probably come to the point where you have to deal with real core issues in your life. As a matter of fact, you may consistently return to this point as different issues come up. And dealing with destructive habits, deep hurts, and growing through them is a painful, not so good feeling process at times. The gospel is about forgiving and loving enemies, reconciliation, and healing. It is not always easy, but it is more worth it than you will ever know.
Pitfall #3
Following Jesus is about having the right ideas
The truth: In the parable of the Good Samaritan, the guy had his theology all wrong but his heart was in the right place with God and his neighbor, and that is what matters. A lot of people in Christian churches believe that being a Christian is about defending the faith against bad ideas, instead of commending the faith through living the truth of the Good News of Jesus Christ. I find it easy to sometimes hold firm to the truth, but in a way that makes me look like a total a**. When I do this, I think I miss the point.
Pitfall #4
Following Jesus is about being with all the right people.
The truth:
Following Jesus is about bearing with people when they are a pain in the a**. Look at the Corinthian church. Does this church look like a model of church health? Heck no! Even the Philippian church in the New Testament had divisive people and potential church splits happening. The church needs to be full of difficult people who are committed to growing and learning to be more like Jesus, warts and all.
What is the gospel all about then? It is about becoming fully human. And it is about doing that through growing in knowledge of and love for our Creator. It is about joining his mission to build bridges of love to the world through surrendering ourselves to him and making ourselves his vessel of new hope, new life, and new love.
So we all must come back and ask ourselves...am I becoming more loving? am I becoming more forgiving and compassionate? am I becoming more bold in embracing that God's love and overflowing with love to others? If not we might want to go back to square one.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Thirtysomething singleness business
Do I enjoy being single or not? That is the question.
Sometimes, like when I am wondering what the heck I am going to do on a Friday night besides goof around and/or work on the computer, then I think it might be a good idea to get married.
Other times, like when I am at my sister's place with babies and baby schedules I think, "There is no way in hell I ever want to get married and have children."
I like having a lot of "me" time, and I like being able to do things on my own time and in my own pace. Having a partner in life just complicates that.
For some of my single friends, they seem pretty clear about wanting to get married and have a family. My friend Amy has, as George Bush would say, a very strategeristic plan for her married life. She has a goal of being married by the end of 2006. That gives her about sixteen months to meet and marry the love of her life. Since her 32nd birthday is in November, I guess that means that preferable she wants to be well on her way to walking down the aisle before her 33rd birthday. Good for her!
Other single friends of mine are pretty sure they want to be single for a while. My buddy Mike spent much of an afternoon at a work social gathering avoiding a woman who was interested in him. He is recently divorced and not ready for anything new right now.
I am somewhere in between.
Of course it is crazy to turn romance into a business plan, but sometimes I weigh singleness and marriage in some sort of mental cost-benefit analysis thing:
Benefits of singleness
Freedom!
Quiet!
More time for friends!
More time for my mission and lifes work (the J-O-B)
Less relational conflict (lets face it marriages and romantic relationships take a lot of working through relational issues and conflict, and that is NO FUN!)
Drawbacks of singleness
Celebacy
lack of companionship
Benefits of marriage
SEX!
Other forms of physical affection!
Partnership/Companionship!
The joy of having someone to love and give your life to!
Two incomes!
The drawbacks of marriage
It is a pretty final decision! (At least I hope it will be)
Being tied down!
A bad choice is utterly miserable!
Nagging and all that stuff
So what would you add to the equation, and how would you weight each of the costs and benefits?
Sometimes, like when I am wondering what the heck I am going to do on a Friday night besides goof around and/or work on the computer, then I think it might be a good idea to get married.
Other times, like when I am at my sister's place with babies and baby schedules I think, "There is no way in hell I ever want to get married and have children."
I like having a lot of "me" time, and I like being able to do things on my own time and in my own pace. Having a partner in life just complicates that.
For some of my single friends, they seem pretty clear about wanting to get married and have a family. My friend Amy has, as George Bush would say, a very strategeristic plan for her married life. She has a goal of being married by the end of 2006. That gives her about sixteen months to meet and marry the love of her life. Since her 32nd birthday is in November, I guess that means that preferable she wants to be well on her way to walking down the aisle before her 33rd birthday. Good for her!
Other single friends of mine are pretty sure they want to be single for a while. My buddy Mike spent much of an afternoon at a work social gathering avoiding a woman who was interested in him. He is recently divorced and not ready for anything new right now.
I am somewhere in between.
Of course it is crazy to turn romance into a business plan, but sometimes I weigh singleness and marriage in some sort of mental cost-benefit analysis thing:
Benefits of singleness
Freedom!
Quiet!
More time for friends!
More time for my mission and lifes work (the J-O-B)
Less relational conflict (lets face it marriages and romantic relationships take a lot of working through relational issues and conflict, and that is NO FUN!)
Drawbacks of singleness
Celebacy
lack of companionship
Benefits of marriage
SEX!
Other forms of physical affection!
Partnership/Companionship!
The joy of having someone to love and give your life to!
Two incomes!
The drawbacks of marriage
It is a pretty final decision! (At least I hope it will be)
Being tied down!
A bad choice is utterly miserable!
Nagging and all that stuff
So what would you add to the equation, and how would you weight each of the costs and benefits?
Movies I want to see!!!
There are a couple of movies I really want to see. Here they are:
This looks funny. And lets face it....I can empathize with the man!
I would also like to see:
WEDDING CRASHERS
THE ISLAND
MR AND MRS SMITH
This looks funny. And lets face it....I can empathize with the man!
I would also like to see:
WEDDING CRASHERS
THE ISLAND
MR AND MRS SMITH
Thursday, August 18, 2005
It is fall again?! (sigh)
It has been raining like crazy out here. And that actually has been fun.
In the old days, it seemed like summer was more laid back in ministry...and least in my ministry. That has certainly not been the case this year, and I am frustrated because it is fall already and I have been so busy with summer stuff that I am in no way ready for fall. Yet at the same time, I want to take time to rest and recouperate from the summer.
So, I have to get all my teachers together, get the fall program together, get all the budget and writing work done, and get ready for the normal youth group routine to start all over again. And all of that in just a few weeks.
(SIGH!)
The good thing is that I like the more regular routine of the school year. I know the schedule better, enjoy the pace of ministry better, feel like I am not always caught in a whirlwind. And, for the most part, after labor day people are done with their vacations until Turkey Day and Christmas, which makes it easier to find volunteers to support certain activities and programs.
I also like the activities of fall. Hiking weather, when it is not raining, is much nicer. I like the whole sweatshirt and shorts things at soccer games. And it seems that this year a lot of our youth will be more involved in school activities than in years past, which is always very cool to go watch all the youth at school and in their activities.
This year will be a lot different here. There is a lot of pressure for me to get a second service going. Our youth group is quickly moving from a predominately junior high group to a group with more high schoolers. The vacation was not restful at ALL, and now I am not wanting to deal with anything or anyone remotely stressful. And I am feeling guilty about that.
WATCH OUT ME, HERE FALL COMES.
In the old days, it seemed like summer was more laid back in ministry...and least in my ministry. That has certainly not been the case this year, and I am frustrated because it is fall already and I have been so busy with summer stuff that I am in no way ready for fall. Yet at the same time, I want to take time to rest and recouperate from the summer.
So, I have to get all my teachers together, get the fall program together, get all the budget and writing work done, and get ready for the normal youth group routine to start all over again. And all of that in just a few weeks.
(SIGH!)
The good thing is that I like the more regular routine of the school year. I know the schedule better, enjoy the pace of ministry better, feel like I am not always caught in a whirlwind. And, for the most part, after labor day people are done with their vacations until Turkey Day and Christmas, which makes it easier to find volunteers to support certain activities and programs.
I also like the activities of fall. Hiking weather, when it is not raining, is much nicer. I like the whole sweatshirt and shorts things at soccer games. And it seems that this year a lot of our youth will be more involved in school activities than in years past, which is always very cool to go watch all the youth at school and in their activities.
This year will be a lot different here. There is a lot of pressure for me to get a second service going. Our youth group is quickly moving from a predominately junior high group to a group with more high schoolers. The vacation was not restful at ALL, and now I am not wanting to deal with anything or anyone remotely stressful. And I am feeling guilty about that.
WATCH OUT ME, HERE FALL COMES.
The Light bulb came on
The first week of the month, I was a camp pastor at Black Forest Camp in Monument, CO. And, as I put together the week, I learned a lot about my faith in putting the camp together.
The theme that was set up for all the camps was "glow in the dark faith". Thus, the whole theme was the metaphor of light from the gospels. I was a little frustrated at first, because the concept is kind of abstract for 3rd-5th graders, but I think I did a good job.
But at that time and ever since, I have been aware of all sorts of different lights, and how light describes the attributes of God in so many ways. More than that though, I became aware of how light surrounds us constantly--stars and moon at night, and sun at day. At the presence of light, and thinking about God as light, has reminded me in powerful ways about the constant "here"ness of God. And also how he is constantly invading our world with his love, and we are constanly ingnoring it. And somehow, as I have awakened the last couple of days, it has been impossible to ignore the presence of God basking upon me through the shades.
"the light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it"--John 1
The theme that was set up for all the camps was "glow in the dark faith". Thus, the whole theme was the metaphor of light from the gospels. I was a little frustrated at first, because the concept is kind of abstract for 3rd-5th graders, but I think I did a good job.
But at that time and ever since, I have been aware of all sorts of different lights, and how light describes the attributes of God in so many ways. More than that though, I became aware of how light surrounds us constantly--stars and moon at night, and sun at day. At the presence of light, and thinking about God as light, has reminded me in powerful ways about the constant "here"ness of God. And also how he is constantly invading our world with his love, and we are constanly ingnoring it. And somehow, as I have awakened the last couple of days, it has been impossible to ignore the presence of God basking upon me through the shades.
"the light shines in the darkness, but the darkness has not understood it"--John 1
Pearl Kruse--1909--2005
My great-grandmother passed away in the early hours of Wednesday morning. Until now, I have been struck speechless about the matter.
One of the things that struck me speechless is that she did not want to have a funeral. I am a person who likes clear senses of beginnings and of closures. So it threw me for a loop. I was not there when she shared why she did not want a funeral per se, but from what I remember of her I think it has to do with a combination of two things.
One, I think she simply did not want people to make that much of a fuss over her. She was a quiet pillar of strength for many of us personally, and for much of our family as a whole. But part of her strength is that she could be with you, not say anything memorable, and yet you leave her feeling totally appreciated and completely surrounded by love. At family gatherings, it would often seem that she was sitting off in a corner not doing much of anything. But by the end of the evening she had figured out what was going on in everyone's life, and when you were with her she made you feel like you were the most important person in the entire world. Her life was about doing the right thing, loving her family and friends, and tending to her flower gardens (which she did well into her senior years).
Which leads me to the second reason I think she didn't want a funeral. For Grandma Pearl, life was a thing to celebrate and live to the fullest! She worked in her flower garden into the years when many others her age are using walkers and wheelchairs to get around. Many of us have pictures of her, not looking much younger than she did a week ago, with a trowell in her work-glove covered hands and a big smile on her face. Most of us in the family also have pictures of her showing us her "thimble finger" upon request, especially when she added a new one to her collection. And she trudged through old farm land around Roundup, MT until her and her sister found the old farmhouse where they grew up. And if you said something that was inappropriate or mean in her mind, you knew. But often, it only took a look. She was easily the most kind, most compassionate, most selfless person I have ever met. There is no doubt she had her disappointments, her heartaches and heartbreaks, but she stayed strong and positive through all of it.
Her life was a blessing to us. She will be missed. But thank God for my great-grandmother, Pearl Kruse as well.
One of the things that struck me speechless is that she did not want to have a funeral. I am a person who likes clear senses of beginnings and of closures. So it threw me for a loop. I was not there when she shared why she did not want a funeral per se, but from what I remember of her I think it has to do with a combination of two things.
One, I think she simply did not want people to make that much of a fuss over her. She was a quiet pillar of strength for many of us personally, and for much of our family as a whole. But part of her strength is that she could be with you, not say anything memorable, and yet you leave her feeling totally appreciated and completely surrounded by love. At family gatherings, it would often seem that she was sitting off in a corner not doing much of anything. But by the end of the evening she had figured out what was going on in everyone's life, and when you were with her she made you feel like you were the most important person in the entire world. Her life was about doing the right thing, loving her family and friends, and tending to her flower gardens (which she did well into her senior years).
Which leads me to the second reason I think she didn't want a funeral. For Grandma Pearl, life was a thing to celebrate and live to the fullest! She worked in her flower garden into the years when many others her age are using walkers and wheelchairs to get around. Many of us have pictures of her, not looking much younger than she did a week ago, with a trowell in her work-glove covered hands and a big smile on her face. Most of us in the family also have pictures of her showing us her "thimble finger" upon request, especially when she added a new one to her collection. And she trudged through old farm land around Roundup, MT until her and her sister found the old farmhouse where they grew up. And if you said something that was inappropriate or mean in her mind, you knew. But often, it only took a look. She was easily the most kind, most compassionate, most selfless person I have ever met. There is no doubt she had her disappointments, her heartaches and heartbreaks, but she stayed strong and positive through all of it.
Her life was a blessing to us. She will be missed. But thank God for my great-grandmother, Pearl Kruse as well.
Failure at 4:30....the blues
As most of you my last couple weeks have been chaotic. Well....lets say the last couple months. The trouble with all of that is that I have gotten out of my routine of self-care. I ate mass quanities of unhealthy stuff at camp...like bacon eggs and hash browns for breakfast every morning. My trip to see my sister was not that much better. Although I think I did a heroic job of avoiding boredom eating by web surfing, I have gotten out of my routine of making my own meals, eating in instead of eating out, and the like.
So I got 10 cent folders at Walmart for a log of exercise and diet stuff. The thing is, I am avoiding the log. Cause I am having a hard time getting back into the rhythym of healthy eating and exercise (and it is a rhythm of life for me that makes that happen). Part of getting out of this rhythym is my summer schedule, and part of it is my workaholic ways. Either way, most of my diet, schedule, and exercise is something I need to own or take responsibility for.
So I went to the coffee shop for a standing meeting that I established that nobody else ever shows up for. And while I was waiting I had a bagel with cream cheese! I was not hungry, but I needed to look like I was doing something while I was waiting so I bought the bagel and ate it.
I got in the car, and realized I was eating when I was not really hungry. I was falling in the bad patterns of eating what is easy and when I feel obligated too. And I told myself, "Today like yesterday is a dietary failure!" (Well add some expletives in as well).
Then another thought came into my head. "It is only 4:30pm. I have had lunch and a bagel for a snack, but the day is not complete yet. Infact, if you just cut back a little bit at dinner and don't snack, the day might even be considered a dietary success!"
Why do I share this? Cause I think it fits a pattern in my life and others lives as well. Just because you failed at 4:30, doesnt mean you are a failure at midnight. Press on, and realize that there is always more time left to grow and change until your time is done.
So I got 10 cent folders at Walmart for a log of exercise and diet stuff. The thing is, I am avoiding the log. Cause I am having a hard time getting back into the rhythym of healthy eating and exercise (and it is a rhythm of life for me that makes that happen). Part of getting out of this rhythym is my summer schedule, and part of it is my workaholic ways. Either way, most of my diet, schedule, and exercise is something I need to own or take responsibility for.
So I went to the coffee shop for a standing meeting that I established that nobody else ever shows up for. And while I was waiting I had a bagel with cream cheese! I was not hungry, but I needed to look like I was doing something while I was waiting so I bought the bagel and ate it.
I got in the car, and realized I was eating when I was not really hungry. I was falling in the bad patterns of eating what is easy and when I feel obligated too. And I told myself, "Today like yesterday is a dietary failure!" (Well add some expletives in as well).
Then another thought came into my head. "It is only 4:30pm. I have had lunch and a bagel for a snack, but the day is not complete yet. Infact, if you just cut back a little bit at dinner and don't snack, the day might even be considered a dietary success!"
Why do I share this? Cause I think it fits a pattern in my life and others lives as well. Just because you failed at 4:30, doesnt mean you are a failure at midnight. Press on, and realize that there is always more time left to grow and change until your time is done.
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
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