It is supposed to take time: Eros and Faith Part 2

There is a man in a town I used to work in that is a pastor at a local church in the area. Within the first couple minutes of meeting him while we were umpiring a baseball game together. In between innings he got two inches from my face and asked me, "Do you know JeSUS?" I said that I did. He said, "Are you sure?" I answered that, "I think so cause he made me his friend when I was little, and still talk to him on a regular basis." Curtis patted me on the back. And although we both share a passion for Christ, his antics made me so angry I wanted to punch him in the mouth.

I have often wondered why this enraged me. In the last couple of days I am beginning to learn. Put simply, Curtis' evangelism efforts were a lot more about him than they were about loving God or caring for me. It was about him asserting dominance, not humbly sharing simple truths of the Spirit. It was about him feeling good about himself and his faithfulness, not a genuine caring for my spiritual condition. Like two people having a quickie sexual encounter five minutes after meeting, he was more about getting his selfish desires met and me screaming "Yes! OH! Yes!" so that all his friends at the other end of the parking lot can hear me than he was in truly caring about me.

Now at first, the parallel of unhealthy, immoral sexual behavior and evangelism may seem inappropriate to you. But let me remind you that the Scripture refers to following Jesus as being born again, and unfaithfulness to God to a woman hoaring around on her husband. Both images have something to do with this type of relationship.

John Bowen in his book Evangelism for "Normal" People made this parellel so compellingly in the first ten pages of his book that I was convinced I needed the book for a resource.

Bowen quotes a Canadian author (Sandra Tsing Loh) shares about having a wonderful date with a man she had a lot in common with. Then all of the sudden out of nowhere he asks her,

"'Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior?'
Just like that. No warm up. No mood music. No idle teasing around the issue to loosen the soil. Had Jeff have just reached out and grabbed my breast I would not have been more shocked."

Margret Atwood says a similar thing in a short story she wrote...

"Religious people of any serious kind made her nervous: they were like men in raincoats who might or might not be flashers. You would be going along in a normal way, and then there could be a swift movement and you would look down to find the coat wide open and nothing under it but some pant legs held up by rubber bands."

Let me suggest that a faith-sharing relationship and a sexually intimate relationship should both take time to develop. As a Christian, I believe that sexual intimacy works best when it takes place in the context of a committed relationship (marriage). Sharing one's spiritual beliefs works best in this context too (a relationship where care has been communicated and established). When you take time to know someone, care for someone, and love someone you each feel more willing to be open and vulnerable. When new life emerges from your time together, that life is better nurtured and cared for within that context. "Hit it and quit it" faith-sharing may lead to new life in Christ, but often times it leaves the person who made the choice to follow Christ ill-equipped in developing that faith, and quickly thinking they may abort Christianity.

More on this later. These are just a few thoughts.