Life Lessons for this week

Life Lesson #1--I May Do Well Under Pressure, But I am miserable while the pressure is on

When I was in football in high school, and even the first time I got in the game in college, I played well under pressure. But, I dont deal well with stress. I used to get more sorry for myself the more pressure I was under, but these days I am just....as Whoopie Goldberg's character said in Kingdom Come "downright surly".

Specifically, I have been feeling a lot of pressure at work this month with my responsibilities on Sundays. I have to coordinate and organize 6-12 grade Sunday School, as well as lead it. Then the next half hour is spent between counseling folks about issues, trying to get in to practice for choir, and running upstairs to put on the robes and pray with the boss and whoever is the worship assistant. I then do announcements, run back, change into a different robe for choir, get in the loft to do choir, run down, change back into my suit, and listen to the rest of the sermon. I run home, grab a quick bite to eat, change clothes, and then run back out again to get ready for the evening. The evening includes a meeting with the youth workers, getting supplies for youth group, leading youth group. So far so good. This is the typical Sunday I have had for most of my career.

The next thing is what puts it over the top. I have to then lead our NEW WORSHIP SERVICE CALLED EDGE after leading youth group. I have to do all the last minute stuff in the middle of Sunday afternoon as well. And then there are always people who just do not show up for commitments they have made. And although I try to delegate and include everyone else, the presssure is ALL ON ME to make things go well, to get everyone in the proper place, to give everyone their strokes. And since we are trying to do CREATIVE AND NON-TRADITIONAL types of things...that means more work....not like a normal service where you kinda do the same thing every week.

So there is all this pressure, and people are pretty pleased with things, but I feel a little overwhelmed.

Throw in trying to plan two trips and help with camp planning at a new site for the summer, people wanting me to teach LEVITICUS (read lots of study) on Wednesday night and make it interesting, choir practice on Thursday nights, and I feel a lot of pressure to perform in a lot of different ways. And to get really well organized with everything. And that....by every Sunday afternoon....has made me DOWNRIGHT SURLY.

Life Lesson #2--I am not a very likeable person

So these people on Wednesday night are all talking about MUNICH. And all of the sudden I come to the realization that there were all these people who were invited and I was not. It put me into a bad funk.

You see, on several occasions asked my friends here, who are married to one another, if they want to do something. You want to catch a movie? Can I drop by and say hello? Do you want to get a bite to eat after church? And generally they say, "That would be great! Not tonight but could you call tomorrow between such and such a time." I then call them. And they do not answer the phone. We do not get together.

Then they complain how another co-worker comes by after work all the time and eats them out of house and home. But when I ask if I can drop by it is like....maybe later.

These are people who had me do a prayer and be a groomsman in their wedding. They talk about how we are friends at times. But more and more I am feeling....But you do not act like friends.

The frustrating thing is that they pretend like they care. They want me to think they care. But they dont. Which is frustrating for me, since they are my only friends here.

Then there are these other acqauintences I have. They work at a place I shop at. We were all going on a diet together...and I joined them at their insistence. Without getting into too much of the drama, I had a big argument with one of them because she accused me of being a weak person because I was not doing as well as she was after three days. I had a rare moment of being assertive, and told her in no uncertain terms that if she wanted to get in a pissing match about who had more discipline in their life I think I would win hands down. That was the wrong thing to say. Never get in a pissing match with a redneck woman from Arkansas. (Point of interest: I dated this woman for two months before I moved here. She has since married someone else.) She went out for a smoke. The other guy told me about how he couldn't argue with either of us because he has some gay trist about once a week and hasn't been in a committed relationship in a year. And I left. I have not seen either of them since.

I guess I just dont deserve to have good friends that care about me.

Life Lesson #3--I need to be more courageous

This has been a challenge I have set before myself during the last year. Even though I have become more bold at times, I still have a little growing to do.

Generally I am more cowardly in two situations. One is in asserting myself at work, and the other is in having the gumption to ask women out on dates.

The work stuff is evidenced by what I wrote above. And what I have written previously.

As for the dating stuff, I am just a wimp. I don't like rejection, so I look for signs. Currently, I have a little bit of an interest in someone. So, I try to drop by and say hello when she does not look busy. We talk. She makes me laugh. She teases me a little. And tends to flirt with me a little. (If saying, "Well look...if it isnt my Prince Charming is flirting...I think it is general friendly flirting). So I have decided I am going to ask this woman out several times in the last few weeks. I try to do it. And I wimp out. Last time we got into a big discussion about the REV in front of my name on my mail. (That REV thing seems to be a big strike against me with the ladies....almost worse than being overweight).

Life Lesson #4--I seem to have a strong resume for people looking to hire someone at bargain basement salaries

Enough said.

Life Lesson #5--Just showing up scores points

I got some encouraging words from some former parents this week. And the comments taught me, among other things, that just being there and showing up is half the battle. This is especially true in a ministry where I was the 5th person in 5 years. If I were to hang around as long as I have already been here, I would have the longest tenure for my position in the history of this church.

I still however, feel like I am RUNNING TO STAND STILL as long as I am here.