San Nakji has a picture of a dung beetle on his blog. And, the picture of the dung beetle made me think. We all live off of waste of others in one way or another. We feed and live off of the surplus of other beings. We are all scavengers. We may dress this world up to look really pretty, but it is really just a cosmic garage sale.
What is fruit? It is a used container for the seeds that are inside of it. How did the fruit get there? Well, the tree that it comes from feeds off of light, and the nitrates of decomposing life that is in the ground.
What do we run our cars off of? Plant refuse! What is the internet? Something the US military decided to share.
I have a friend who was a pastor/social worker who said he believed in compost theology. And he helped me to see that there is more than one way to look at this whole process. The bad part, for egocentric human beings like ourselves, is that in many ways our character is not that much different than the dung beetle in this regard. We are living off the salvage yard that this earth (and God) provides for us. We did not make it or create it ourselves.
The good news is, that nothing is wasted. And everything is able to be salvaged in one way or another. I am sitting here listening to Renee talk on a radio show about her book she wrote about her hurts from her awful experience of being abused. And, yet, as you either read or listen to her, and read through her blog, you see that God is growing a beautiful flower of a life out of the crap she grew up in.
Right now I look at my life, and I feel stuck. I am in a small church that really, honestly has no desire to grow. I love the kids I work with, but feel ashamed and guilty that my ministries are so poorly attended. I feel like I dug myself a hole in my career by coming here, and much of my last 3 years have been a waste. Refuse. And it gives me comfort to consider the dung beetle, and realize that nothing is wasted, and all can be redeemed.
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6 comments:
I know you must feel fustrated, but like you someloquently stated in your post, your efforts are not wasted.
i think you are hard on the beetle and yourself.
the beetle is making sure that nothing goes to waste. a truly 'green' animal!
even though you don't have a lot of people in your congregation, i bet the ones you have appeciate you every day, or they should! don't get so down monsieur friar!
San Nakji--you misread my mood a little.
Your comment illustrates the point I was making!
Nothing is wasted Clint. It may be frustrating something good will come out of it. Even if one kid is changed.
I like the compost theory.
you know something??
i was the youth director at my church for 3 years...
the youth ministry flouished during that time...
but hate and church politics ultimately pushed me out. I left feeling dejected and as if I had wasted my time...
but a reminder came in my mailbox...a young man I had mentored wrote and told me how much I meant to him, how much he listened to what I'd shared and how much he loved me. This happened more and more as the time past...me being away. Young people would run to greet me at church, confide in my, I still get phone call late at night with young adults just needing someone to talk to, searching for a litle guidance and a lot of love and acceptance...
they have made me realize that indeed there was no waste of time.
besides that i find solace in knowing that my steps are ordered by God and that the things I do for Christ are the only things that will last.
luv to u clint, and keep looking up...the best is yet to come!
You, hopefully deep down at least, know that this was not a complete waste. Buck up little camper! See you soon!
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