I have really been struggling lately. In many ways. And I am not completely sure why.
Since Christmas I have struggled to keep my pace on my exercise routine. I have only been getting in 150-200 minutes a week on the elliptical trainer. It is frustrating. I blame this on my increased workload, which is coming right about the time in my life when I need to pick up a second job. Other than my day off, I have gotten home two days before 10:30pm in the last 3 weeks, and I have averaged about 10 hours a day, six days a week.
I have also struggled trying to take the next steps in my diet. Since I have been getting home late, I have been eating late. And I have not always been eating what is best for me. And then I feel bad about that. Which makes me a little depressed, which makes me want to eat a lot and avoid exercise. It is a vicious cycle.
We changed the time of youth group to accomodate the new worship service. This has led to lower attendance at youth group. This lower attendance puts me in a "drama king" mode. I picture myself penniless and stuck here in some 1 bedroom apartment for the rest of my life.
The worship service I am leading has been well recieved by those who attend. The problem is, other than the musical people, I end up doing all the work for this. This was not my plan. But my boss caved to outside pressure and pushed the schedule on it so that people would be happy something was happening. Meanwhile, my whole strategy of community investment and participation in the worship service went down the toilet. And since it immediately follows youth group, it takes away from my time with the kids.
Then comes Valentine's Day, and I am 32 years old and single, and that I probably will be single for the rest of my life. To be brutally honest, this comes as a huge surprise to me. I know....I am overweight, and people, especially women, do not find overweight folks attractive. But other than being overweight, I think I am a fairly decent looking guy (does that sound arrogant?). I guess others do not. So generally I go along with my life thinking I would be a pretty good catch, until reality hits and I either get shot down by someone I ask out or am stuck with nobody to buy flowers for on Valentine's Day.
Then, there has been a lot of conflict in my life lately. I got on the wrong side of my secretary. I got in a big arguement with the manager at the clothing store I frequent (who I used to date but now is married). And the kid I have been closest to in youth group for the last 3 years now thinks I can do nothing right.
I am behind on my taxes and April 15 is approaching quicker than I am ready for.
It has not been a good 2006.
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5 comments:
O dear dont worry, everything will be fine, just do it.
All things are going to work together...
not in a cliche'd kinda way...just 4 real. u know.
Do you wanna wife? Then do what you have to do to get one...don't be complacent, don't just passively accept it. Pray, be a better, more spiritually, physically and emotionally fit you.
there is NO DOUBT in my mind that you have a lot to offer a woman, and I believe God has someone for you...u gotta believe that.
we deal with some serious stuff in life, hurt, disappointment, but I believe that it all has purpose.
All of it.
Easy to say...but in retrospect you will see. Don't let the enemy of your soul steal your joy or your proper perspective.
this life indeed is short and full of trouble..but as a believer the abundant life is available...will u have it??
Good comment diamond! That is too true.
Our outlook on life affects everything. How willing are we to step into the ugliness of our soul to come out on the other side healed and whole? Friar, Take risks, make choices that truly make you happy not just comfortable in the moment. Continue to explore what your deepest needs are and pray that God will fullfill them 'cause He will.
"All things DO work together for good for those who love God."
One of my favorite phrases is "When you're going through hell.... don't stop".
That might be a bit strong but you get the gist.
Oh, Gretchen, love the hell phrase, might have to make that my own. Thanks.
Dear Friar, you are not alone. Phsyically, perhaps, but ultimately, no.
I, too, am 32 and single. Why? Too picky? Too bossy? Too what?
No one to buy roses for, send them to your mother. No one to send roses to me, I buy them myself or send them to another friend.
There's no magical answer and you already know all of the old cliches.
Do not settle. Go for gold and follow Jesus with all of your heart. He doesn't lead us the safe and easy way, but the more interesting way where we can better see him and learn about who he desires us to be.
Can't wait to see you and give you a great big hug, my fine friar friend.
Clint, I hear you with the poor self-discipline, gloomy future stuff. This is almost always a depressing time of year for me, what with the sunless skies, failed new year's resolutions, valentines day etc... Hang in there!
If that Jack Groppel thing at the conference is any good I'll send you the CD - he's supposed to be dynamo at helping people get their act together. Works with professional athletes and FBI agents and such.
About the single thing - don't be silly!! 32 is young, especially when you don't have a womb to worry about!
I agree with what everybody has said so far - especially about the abundant life and not hanging out in hell. Great advice!
I've been told that parenthesis represent virtual hugs so...(((Clint)))...feel that? Good!
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