Christian Telemarketers

I get calls all the time from "Christian Telemarketers" asking us what is going on at First Baptist and whether we want to buy their products.

Today we had a call from a group called Pure by Choice, which is a group that encourages abstinence from sexual relations until marriage.

Before you read the rest of this post, please know two things:
1.) I am very conservative in my beliefs about sexual ethics
2.) I hate telemarketers
3.) I have a really strong distaste for the organization Focus on the Family

Somedays I am tempted to push their envelope and challenge them just so they will leave me alone. This is how I see that conversation going.

Caller: Hi my name is Bob from Pure By Choice

Me: So, Bob, how are ya?

Caller: So, I was wondering, would you like help in getting your teens to be Pure by Choice.

Me: No.

Caller: Why not?

Me: Because we encourage rampant and indiscriminant sexual experimentation--especially with our junior high youth.

Caller: Oh. Ummmmmm. Interesting joke sir. But seriously.....

Me: I am serious. Take you for instance, Bob. When is the last time you have gotten any? You sound really uptight.

Caller: I do?????

Me: I mean really Bob. And dont you realize this event is all about money anyway?

Caller: It is not. We are working with Focus on the Family!

Me: Who in turns spending most of their time drumming up support for political causes.

Caller: But....

Me: Bob...you may be Pure By Choice....but you are really getting screwed. Do you know you could get paid twice as much for doing the same job working for a REAL telemarketing company instead of one that pretends to be a ministry. Sorry Bob, got to go. Say hello to that gal you are drooling over in the cubicle next door to you. Bye!