Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Labyrinth Walking

Today during our staff retreat we walked an outdoor labyrynth. Very interesting spiritual exercise, and something that I think you all should try at least once.

Labyrynths have different forms and structures, and this one did not have stations in it. Just a set of brick circles leading to the center, and then you walk back out again. It took me about an hour.

It was powerful for me today. Why? First it forced me to get rid of the props that I use to facilitate my spiritual life. And, while I would not have them if they did not help me better relate to God in some way, it was a powerful experience to have a more contemplative, kenotic (there is a vocab word for you Don) spiritual experience.

Walking the labyrinth took more faith than I thought it would. Does that sound strange? I was actually a little nervous entering the labyrinth. I suppose it was in part because my Charasmatic friends are adamant that labyrinths are demonic. They are not. Even more, other thoughts filled my mind as I started. Was I going to get out of it what I am supposed to get out of it? The suggested form was to relinquish things as you go it, wait for God to speak to you at the center, and then begin to take in the presence and call of God on the way out.

But what if God doesn't speak to me I thought? What if this is all a waste? What if I do not do it right? Why can't I run? I hate walking slow! I am going to be stuck behind all these old folks doing some weird prayer thing and I am going to look weird and I am going to fail! This is what came to mind. And it is these things that praying the labyrinth forced me to look at.

As I entered I had to relinquish control, I had to relinquish efficiency, and I had to relinquish past experiences and current expectations and...well I had to let go of a lot of things. I had to just "be" with God, and accept his forgiveness and love without understanding it or defining it or quantifying it. And...as self-helpy as this sounds, I had to accept and love myself on God's behalf just as I was. And, I had to have the courage to be the me that God made me to be instead of the me that others try and make me be. Inside and out. And folks, that ain't always easy.

As I moved out of the center of the labyrinth I took on courage and honesty, I took on being a human "being" instead of a human "performance".

The strangest thing that happened was in relation to the movie, "The Tao of Steve". As I was walking and thinking and praying the thought of relinquishing desire came to mind. Then the three steps of the Tao of Steve (be excellent, be desireless, be gone)came to mind. And I sensed God saying to me "NOOO!... I created you a person with a deep heart, and full of passion for lots of things. Don't be desireless. Live from your heart."

It was truly a powerful, Spirit-centered experience.

1 comment:

Oricon Ailin said...

Woah...now that sounds like something really cool. I wonder if there is anything like this around here that I can experience like that.

Blessings be upon you, Clint. I hope you have a blessed day. *hugs*

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