Saturday, September 03, 2005

I had a friend who often used to tease me by getting about 2 inches away from me at my most frustrated and tell me to "embrace the fuzz!" So funny!

The fuzz came from a story he had collected from his experiences as a chaplain in a mental institution. There was this one patient that would tear things apart whenever he got frustrated or angry with anything. Sometime it was a piece of paper. And at other times it was a piece of cloth. The young man would tear this piece of cloth or paper apart until it got to the point where it was nothing more than a miniscule piece of fuzz, thus he would call this behavior fuzzing.

Bruce's point was there comes a point where you cannot control or reign in or deal with the chaos anymore. All you have left is fuzz. And you have to choose to either embrace the chaos or to get really angry or to go crazy.

I am at an EMBRACE THE FUZZ moment in my life for the moment. I am feeling frustrated figuring anything out in my life. My house is a mess. My office is a mess. I am still trying to figure out what to teach this Sunday, as well as what I will be teaching this school year. I am going on a church retreat that I am dreading next weekend. I have had this strange combination of wanting to vomit and wanting to cry everyday this week when I go to work, and I do not know why. All I know is that I have this sense of dread and paranoia of impending doom anytime I walk in the door. La La La. Poor me.....but I am not meaning to have a pity party. I am trying to have a positive celebrative attitude, but it does not seem to be working very well. I just feel like I am in a funk...and I do not know why.

And all I can see in my mind's eye is Bruce saying "embrace the fuzz" and then having me over for a beer and maybe some horseshoes after a day of ministry. EMBRACE THE FUZZ!


Oricon Ailin said...

*HUGS* I think you need a hug, dude. Hang in there. God will help you, just don't lose faith.


Brea said...

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling settled about your life. I hope embracing the fuzz works for ya. Hang in there!

SUPER said...

I feel your pain. I, alas..did not get that job..again! Sometimes I honestly don't know what my purpose is..but know there absolutely HAS to be one..because I have good qualities and talents that will benefit someone somewhere...whom, when, and where...those are the questions I'm stilling trying to hear the answers to!